My Dinosaur Era Chapter 15
  By beanzie
- 26 reads
 
I get to the nearest bar to the station
sat in the corner with a pint expensive enough to turn you to drink
hate this pub, cost a fortune to renovate, the bar under fourteen coats of lacquer
tables sporting petite lamps, twee enough to make me want to smash them on the floor
food appears from a doorway, slab of meat in a roll, seventeen quid pal,
chips in little tin buckets, look at us, aren’t we so terribly clever
my pint was nearly eight quid, it’s not bad,
every sip is bitter with resentment
I’m still tired, the nearly nap exhausted me, big slug of beer, smack my lips
fancy a shot, seems weird to ask for one in here, not sure why
I never come here, the don’t know me
back at the table with two black sambucas,
one’s for my mate, honest
the drink that launched a thousand head butts,
revive me, please lift me up, gotta get out of here
go down the hole, see friendly faces, could text ginny
not sure if I’m in the mood, have you kissed yet, she’ll say
pushing me, trying to get me somewhere better,
she means well, she must do
sambuca one, scorches the back of my throat, welcome home baby
gulp of beer, head is clearing, I hate the pub seven percent less now
I look both ways, like a rubbish spy, is anyone looking
secret operation about to proceed
codename sambuca number two
kinder than number one, a gentle swallow, I am warm
look at my phone, feel like texting petula
I have never texted her, she said she doesn’t like texts
please just call me she told me
the opposite of everyone else I know
if I called ginny and no one had died, she’d never forgive me
turn the phone face down on the table
it’s downhill to the hole, I can slide down to the sea
I take the back route, avoid queens road
trails of people struggling upwards to get their trains
I slow as I go past the caxton arms, should have gone there instead
bar billiards table guarding the window
evening football on the big screen, can’t see who’s playing
might be chelsea, could be everton, blue anyway
I come out on churchill square, kids sit on walls
at bus stops, on steps, does anyone stand up anymore
I think, you old fucker, let them sit down
past the prince of wales, karaoke comes through the windows
wails, top notes that were just a dream,
words rolled into one like a ball of plasticine
the last bit to the hole, the promised land,
no one about, almost dark now, curtains are closing
above the rooftops the big silver tower is lit up,
a cyber mushroom, red underside, a warning
the door to the hole is open, it’s a mild evening
some voices pour into the air to greet me
I stop, I hope it’s all going to be nice
over the threshold, immediately see ginny at the bar
perched up high on a stool, back to me
I take in her arse, I always do, it’s a beauty
her objet d’art framed by the red velvet upholstery
I smile to myself, sambuca is winning
oh, hi, she says
hi, I say
were you looking at my arse, she says
of course I was, I say
good, she says, I’ll be sad if you ever stop
I’ll endeavour to never stop, I say
how was shoreham, she says
yeah, was fine, we just walked around a bit, talked, you know, I say
you seem a bit flat, timmy, she says
I am just tired, some maniac got me drunk last night, I say
got you drunk, jesus, you wouldn’t stop, she says
I think I was just in the mood, not in a bad way for once, I say
sure, you were in good spirits considering you had just been fired, she says
alan appears in front of me, he looks tired, like he’s been here forever
hiya, you look like shit mate, I say
ta pal, appreciate that, he says
busy day, I say
yeah and got wrecked last night, he says
same, I say
he’s already poured me a pint, knows me too well
come on, let’s find a table, ginny says
we pick up our pints, squeeze into a corner
a scruffy dog licks my hand as I sit down, the owner says sorry
no need to be sorry, dogs do be licking stuff
shall I get it out of the way, I say
get what out of the way, she says
the petula debrief, I say
ha, sure, why not, though I wasn’t going to ask, she says
you fucking were, I say
yeah, I was, she says
like I said, we walked to shoreham, I say
you walked there, fucking hell, that’s miles, she says
it is for your little legs, quite manageable for people of adult height, I say
fuck off, timmy, she says
yeah, so we walked over there, had a couple of drinks and got the train back, I say
that’s it, that’s your debrief, she says
well, yeah, that’s what happened, I say
ok, well if you want to be like that about it, fine, she say
like what, I told you how it went, what more do you want, I say
look, timmy, you don’t have to tell me anything, you know, but you are my friend and friends sometimes tell each other about how things are in their life, how they are feeling, how relationships are progressing, or not as the case may be, I don’t need to hear your itinerary for the day, do I, she says
ok, ok, fine, look, I like her, she’s cool, I say
it’s a start, she says
sorry, yeah that was rubbish, I mean, I like hanging out with her, it feels natural, not like we are on forced dates where there’s all the pressure to talk a lot and ask loads of questions, we just drift along, learning as we go, I say
uh huh, still holding hands the, she says
sure, we held hands for a bit, I say
you are a funny one, timmy, she says
why, I say
most men would be trying so fucking desperately to get the glorious petula into bed and here’s you, mooning about chatting about the weather, it’s lovely, she says
you know I’m not normal, like, I don’t chat women up or hit on women or whatever it’s called, and I’ve barely spoken to another woman since jane, I never even wanted to till now, I say
I know, darling, I know, she says
she takes my hand and squeezes it, I squeeze back
jesus, I was so hungover at work today, she says
you went to work, fucking hell, I say
yeah, the hotel business is not a monday to friday gig, she says
I was destroyed this morning, I say
I vomited in one of the toilets I was cleaning, she says
that’s a beautiful image, I say
we drink our beers and I get more from the bar
have you arranged to meet up again, she says
no, not yet, we’ll call each other I suppose, I say
you suppose, you maybe need to be a touch more engaged, she says
I guess, I say
and you call each other, what the fuck is that about, why don’t you text each other like normal people, she says
she says she doesn’t like texting, I say
what a weirdo, she says
it’s a bit strange, I get dead anxious when I call, just not used to it, I say
I could not have people ringing me, the actual horror, she says
one more set of beers pass through us, I feel gently drunk
one of those moments where anything feels possible
I scroll up and down my phone, still wanting to text petula
a simple message to say hello, nothing too spectacular
fuck it, a gentle signifier that I am thinking of her is sweet, right
had a lovely day, speak soon, tim
send
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