4.28.13

I ate
one meal today
after hiking miles.
Reminded me of the old days.

I spent my night catering a
prom that wasn't even mine.
People were rude and popped
the balloons. The sound started
the round in my brain. Depression,
anxiety, like a brawl that forces
you to crawl because they've
kicked in your ribcage in the
hope that it would become stardust.

Pouring punch,
watching carefully
and trying to ignore the
friendly enemies that have
residency on my wrists.
I don't have time for this.

I am supposed to be
in the prime of my life.
I turn fifteen on May first,
and possess my own car.
I should be counting my
lucky stars.

Taking medicine in the morning,
then again in the evening,
then another three pills to
help me sleep at night.. psychologist
appointments every week at five, and
med management every four weeks.
This is the life
of which I speak.

Don't tell me
it doesn't sound bleak.