porcelain lovers

By a.lesser.thing

Tue, 09 Apr 2013
  • 704 reads
5 comments
 

Her lips hang, an offer.
My fingertips, translucent,
daring. Do I touch?

These answers, we already know
yet we stand, poised, careful
for we've taken up the idea
that we are made of porcelain.

I wanted to love her, but
I became fearful that I would
do it wrong. She once said, "Any love
is not a wrong love," but I saw the crack
in the small of her back and thought differently.

The moon does not confine, and is not a cage.
Her smile paralyzes me, but my legs move
regardless. I pick up my knees, over and over again,
a process of no thought. I can avoid her eyes as
much as I can ignore the void that pulls me over
the sides of mountains.

Certificate 12
Poem
Love

Comments

Submitted by littleditty on
a beautiful poem - the last image, awesome. Well made. (crystalball7000X says watch out for fruit..)

 

Submitted by a.lesser.thing on
Thank you! I fixed up the line of "I ignore the void..." to "I can ignore the void" because it made more sense to me when I read this over for the second time. Ah, good thing it's only fruit! Planning on buying some vegetables tonight to make shrimp scampi for my family. :)

 

Submitted by littleditty on
ah fishin for shrimp scampi for the family - nice. try this 8 Prawns poem :) http://www.abctales.com/story/littleditty/8-prawns

 

Submitted by VeraClark on
The conversational style, combined with such delicate language conveys relationship uncertainness perfectly. You convey it so well. It creates an atmosphere of one of those periods, post-argument, where everything hangs in the balance. That is my interpretation anyway, forgive me if I'm off your planet. Have gone over and over these lines. Very special: 'She once said, "Any love is not a wrong love," but I saw the crack in the small of her back and thought differently.

 

Submitted by a.lesser.thing on
Littleditty, I still haven't gotten around to reading it fully. I apologize! It's on my list of to-do's, I promise. Thank you so, so much, Stan! I definitely don't mind, aha. Age is a tricky thing, but doesn't offend me; after all, I do recognize that I'm very young, but (hopefully) don't present as foolish. I try to read my poems twice, one time in my mind, one time aloud, before posting, and I do check back later to make sure there aren't any mistakes (even if minor ones). I like to make sure that I'm doing the best I can with my work, because I'd like to see improvements along the way (and can't get there without acknowledging the cracks, and attempting to smooth them out). Thank you, Vera! I was hoping that the idea of uncertainty came across, because I modeled this a lot after an old, unhealthy relationship. Not necessarily after arguments, but throughout everything; being gentle, not wanting to step on a leaf and have the crunch of it kill a world, if that makes sense. You're definitely not off my planet, and in fact, I think you're doing a great job about being on it. :) You've no idea how much it means to me getting this sort of feedback--and to know that you guys read this more than once makes me feel amazing, to be completely honest. I couldn't do this without you!