The Life Theorists

The Life Theorists

(The audience files into the theatre and seated in the middle of the
audience are two "spectators", Person 1 and Person 2, still having a
heated conversation. They are reduced to hushed whispers as the lights
go down but continue their conversation gradually getting more
irate)

Person 1: (to person 2) Look, I know what you're saying, but it's just
not possible. An ideal world won't work. You can be as anarchistic as
you want, but a life where there is no war and perfect peace isn't
possible.

Person 2: But ideals are what inspire people to work towards their
goals. They help to create a better world in which we
live&;#8230;

Person 1: &;#8230;but they will permanently live in a state of
suspended animation because their goals will never be realised as there
will always be a bigger fish to fry.

(Pause)

Person 2: Yes. (Pause) But we're not going to do anything about it are
we?

Person 1: No&;#8230;I can't be bothered. Leave that to the
politicians&;#8230;

(They lapse into silence)

Person 1: Why hasn't the play started yet?

Person 2: I don't know. Maybe the actors couldn't be bothered.

Person 1: Are you antagonising me?

Person 2: I don't know. I don't know if I can be bothered.

Person 1: Oh, just shut up.

(Pause)

Person 1: Why were you irritating me?

Person 2: (Silent)

Person 1: Are you even listening to me?

Person 2: (Silent)

Person 1: Fine

Person 2: (muttering) you told me to shut up.

Person 1: (gives an exasperated sigh) I give up.

Person 2: You know? That's what really gets me. You have all of these
high flown ideas but as soon as someone starts to question you over
them you give in. What about standing up for what you believe in?

Person 1: I don't like confrontation.

Person 2: (aside) coulda fooled me&;#8230;

Person 1: What?

Person 2: What?

Person 1: You said something&;#8230;what did you say?

Person 2: What?

Person 1: What?

Person 2: What?

Person 1: Oh, I give up.

Person 2: There you go again. Giving up. I hoped that this play
would've got you to think about life in general and to have a belief in
your rights of free speech and all that hooey. Obviously not.

Person 1: Well, it hasn't started yet.

Person 2: Oh, be quiet.

Person 1: You know what? I can't be bothered. (Gets up and walks
out)

Person 2: (after some silence, to the audience) Well, what are all you
lot looking at? It's true! Oh, turn around and watch the goddamn
play&;#8230;