DOOMED FISHING BOAT

DOOMED FISHING BOAT
Somewhere in the Pacific?A Japanese fishing boat was sunk by an
American submarine as it surfaced after being submerged directly below
the Asian vessel
I got news for ya?That was Outrageous! Our Navy sinks a fishing boat?
The largest most powerful Navy on the planet! What happened to our
sophisticated radar, sonar, listening devices? Do Japanese fishing
boats have stealth capabilities? Don't submarines look where they're
going?
To find answers I contacted the Regional Planning Director of the local
branch of the Department of Transportation, Mr. Bill. He said those
types of accidents would not occur with better traffic planning. He
suggested a system similar to those used at traffic intersections or
railroads, "Rights of way on the High Seas are just as important as
anywhere else," said Mr. Bill.
A spokesman for the White House announced close ties with the Navy's
investigation of the incident. They were looking into the possibility
of a fishing disaster. An official release stated, "The fact is, the
Japanese boat was a fishing vessel. Therefore it is reasonable to
assume they were fishing. We have not ruled out the likelihood that
they may have hooked our sub, and tugged violently on their lines
causing the boat to surface. That is a possibility."
Later I talked to Commodore William B. Bodiddly, retired veteran of
three world wars and a former submarine commander. He was very adamant
about the affair, "Those Jerries started it all! After that "Sneak
Attack" everything we do to them is justified! Those little pip-squeaks
need to be dealt with, especially the one with the sawed-off mustache!
They got what they deserved!"
I began a series of intense questioning, "How do you justify sinking a
fishing boat?"
"Them Nips are sneaky. That fishing boat could have been a disguised
Luffwaffe battleship!"
"You seem to be confused?"
"Oh yeah! Tell that to my psychopathologist?If you can say,
psychopathologist?"
"How can you justify surfacing from a position directly below the
vessel?"
"Well, Sonny, it doesn't take an idiot to realize they were probably
out of torpedoes!"
"Commodore, we are not at war?"
"Were we at war when they bombed Toledo?"
"You mean Pearl Harbor?"
"Whatever! Aren't our men still prisoners in Russia? Aren't our tanks
still sitting at the bottom of the bay?"
The old Commodore was becoming excited. His face turned red and
noticeable veins protruded from his neck. His voice shook the padding
on the very walls. He was quickly restrained by several large male
nursed and sedated. I was asked to leave.
As I attempted to contact my editor with the news I inadvertently
punched in the wrong number on my cell phone. Surprisingly, I connected
with a crewmember onboard the very submarine in question. He refused to
give his name for reasons of national security, but he did say he was
siting in the control area of the sub at the time of the
occurrence.
He said the fishing boat was just in the wrong place at the wrong
time.
When asked for details he divulged that one of the officers, "Cut a
really bad one!"
The Captain immediately ordered, "Emergency Surface, STAT!"
He said that was normal procedure to get to fresh air, "It's not like
in a car where you can open a window!"
By George