The Hunt for Mahisasura

The Hunt for Mahisasura

Scene I: Devalok

Devalok was lively. It was peopled with various gods and goddess, their vahans—those magnificent creatures, handsome maidens and other concerned people. The entire hall looked splendid---it was lavishly decorated with glittering vessels of gold and silver, all suitably arranged. Colourful diyas and tentative wicks illuminated the display. In the flickering of those lights, the curtains dazzled---they were beautifully woven indeed. On their lining by the edge, there were an assortment of beautiful designs, some dark and intricate and others bright and delightful. Lovely maidens and pretty damsels were dancing to the music of a Veena being played. There was an exuberance of rhythm, of intensity, of depth, infinite and with the majesty of the music and the richness of the spirit, the entire hall resounded with life and gaiety.

Against this ambience, there was the grave and austere figure of Devaraj Indra. He was loitering around, oblivious to everything, drowned in his own miseries. Thus he was somewhat taken aback when he heard a familiar call behind. He turned back and found Narad chanting ‘Narayana, Narayana’.

“I must admit having seen the Devaraj as concerned as this for the first time,” remarked Narad, “I suppose it is well on with the preparations for the forthcoming Mahisasura-Vadh drama.”

“The hunt for Mahisasura continues,” Indra said, indifferently.

“Oh! Is it? Howwzzat?” asked Narad. The willow fever had evidently affected him.

Devaraj replied: “All the characters have been selected, the rehearsals done, the decorations nearly complete and we are left with the want of Mahisasura. Last morning, I had sent an h-mail (heavenly mail) to Asuraloka expressing the need and the worst happened. All the asuras including Shukracharya had suddenly left for a most important meeting to be held at a certain White House. They were also appointed to meet one Mr. Laden and thus, would not be able to return before four ‘millennia’. So….” He shrugged his shoulders and smiled in a most imbecile manner.

“Mahisasura has really bowled us clean. We have a huge target and only a few overs left, isn’t it?”

“Quite so!”

“That is a serious problem indeed.” And Narad became thoughtful. Finally, he flashed his triumphant smile. “I think, Devaraj, we should employ our super-sub,” he said jubilantly, “the land of India abounds in such hefty Mahisasuras, some of whom are really deadly.”

Devaraj interrupted: “Do you mean the same India for whose residents we had reserved 543 seats in the Yamalok of late?”

“Indeed,” said the messenger of heavens, “And the most interesting fact is that is that while there are quite few who could be taken for Mahisasura in appearance, there are various others who match the viciousness, the cunning of Mahisasura absolutely. I do not exaggerate when I say that some of them have even excelled Mahisasura in their parts. Devaraj, we have fifty crore Mahisasuras at our disposal.”

Devaraj reflected upon it for a moment. Then he was jubilant. “I am sending an h-mail to India immediately.”

Scene II: Lok Sabha

Chaos and commotion. The Parliamentary Affairs Minister was making an announcement. “Honourable members and legislators…” The word ‘Honourable’ had a magical effect on the members and the din increased manifold. It took some time for the speaker to restore things to normalcy, whereby the minister continued: “I am inclined to inform you about a most singular incident that took place yesterday. Our satellite experts of the remote-sensing department had detected a strange message that had come from one of the three Lokes. The fact is that our far-flung counterparts have decided to stage a drama on the famous Mahisasura-Vadh on a certain occasion and so, they have asked for a suitable Mahisasura who would merit it. I suppose the House unanimously agrees that I would be the best person suited for this role.”

The House was furious. A former defense minister broke out: “How could we dare to entrust a novice with such an important assignment??? Ridiculous. I say it’s only me who fits the bill perfectly. After all, who but me has been elected to the Lok Sabha with landslide victory after having been implicated in a 2- crore missile-deal scam? In fact I had bought all the ammunitions and with the country least suspecting, made 2 crore out of it. How does such you imbeciles match me with respect to experience and cunning, one of the most essential perquisites for such a crucial role?”

“I certainly don’t,” spoke a minister from Bihar, who prided in his puns and witty euphemisms, “In fact, I excel you. While you could make only a make only a few petty crore from such a mammoth deal, I quietly sucked out 100 crore from a trivial fodder mission--- a case which set the greatest bureaucratic brains reeling. For 14 tedious years, I had been successfully cheating the electorate and had six governors dancing to my tune. Since then, the appellation of ‘Bihari buffalo’, which apparently originated out of thin air, has stuck to me. I am confident there’s not a more able contender, understand babua!!” He tucked a betel-leaf into his mouth and took his seat.

The Human Rights minister was not far behind. “Do I need to prove my credentials?” he asked rhetorically and as the House turned its attention towards him, he began : “I have been a fervent champion of woman rights throughout my career and despite this, my extramarital affairs and illicit relations remain totally unknown. There were some 48 rape charges against me but every time I escaped, without a least injury to my reputation. I have been recently convicted in a murder case. Of course I am confident of getting out of here as well. Don’t you realize it’s only me who stands by the ideal definition of…...”He could not complete it for there was an urgent call from his throat. He cleared it, spat at one side and tried to continue but was thrust down by an adjacent member. One gentleman, who happened to be a lieutenant of the former, protested it, inflicting choicest abuses at the other. The other let loose a stream of invectives accompanied by some occasional ‘damn’, ‘bloody’ etc. His speech was cut short by another who banged his head with a chair. This was suitably answered with a pair of slippers. And thus it all started. Chairs were banged, sandals and chappals hurled and I can hardly recall how things were restored again.

When things were restored, the Prime Minister was heard speaking.

“Members and legislators, I was really overwhelmed to see the abundance of such dramatic talent in our midst. Of course, some have fared better and others have been slightly below the par but the overall performance was superlative. Therefore, I suppose, it must have been realized that only the best contender has to be selected. Is there a better and a more suitable contender than one who runs a Cabinet comprising of thirty hefty Mahisasuras?”

But the House wasn’t ready to oblige. The following morning, an official Declaration of Emergency was made. A divine airplane for Mr. Prime Minister was waiting……….