Interview

'Wanted - Zombies. Please note, this is not for entertainment
purposes. Only those with serious intentions to be one of the undead
need apply.'

'Oh, alright then,' thought Steve, and went off to compose a carefully
worded letter of application and rejig his CV slightly.

A few days later he was called by a remarkably unsinister-sounding
Mancunian woman called Sue and told to go to an address in north west
London. Steve wondered what one might wear to such an interview.
Something a bit decomposed, perhaps? He went for a suit anyway.

Present at the interview were Sue and a man who introduced himself as
Steve. 'Ah, two Steves?. That's, uhm, funny, yeah', said the
interviewee Steve. The interviewer Steve merely smiled.

'Steve,' the interviewer began, 'do you believe in terror?'
'Uh, I suppose so,' he replied, 'I was? really scared when this spider
fell on my face in the shed when I was a kid. Maybe that sounds stupid,
but I was pretty terrified.'
'Do you believe that some things on this earth cannot be explained by
science'
'Probably. Ghosts and stuff. I think maybe they're not dead people or
anything, but maybe there's something in it we can't explain.'

He worried that maybe he'd made an error in saying that ghosts were
'not dead people or anything'. This lot were likely to believe that
they were.

'Not that I believe death is, like, totally the end of course,'
interviewee Steve countered.
Interviewer Steve nodded his head 'Oh, that's not important, we're a
broad, ah, church, as it were.'

Then Sue passed over a dish of small pieces of dried, brown substance.
'Brains?' she asked.
'Don't see why not,' interviewee Steve replied. Tasted like pork
scratchings to him. 'Yes,' said Sue brightly and decisively, looking
towards the door.

Suddenly a man entered, a very dark-skinned man in a smart suit, odd
face paint and an ornate carved staff. He began to dance across the
room, pointing the head of the staff at the puzzled Steve (interviewee)
and chanting in a mixture of something French sounding and something
African sounding, before leaving as suddenly as he had arrived.

'That will be all, thank you Steve,' smiled interviewer Stever.
'So, uh, will you be in touch, then?' the interviewee asked
'Eventually.' the interviewer replied, looking suddenly just a little
sinister.

'Well, who'd have thought?' thought Steve as he crawled out of his
grave, some years later.