Kick me out of this Nightmare into a dream!

My life is on the line for something more.
I don't know what I want and that's the problem.
I'm blindly searching for something new.
I'm hoping my wishes don't come true, Because I'm scared of loving
something strange
So scared that I am past afraid.
Some things you want but cannot get,
I don't know what's going on yet,
All my life,
I've been moved on,
And I was okay with that,
Moved from school to school,
But that is only a fact,
The life I began to lead,
Dropped off friends that I do need,
I always pick up quite a few,
Only to wish that I didn't care,
As I cried the nights away,
I tried so hard,
I got this far,
But in the end,
What does it matter?
We all die,
And I've had a great life,
But where is the rewind button?
How can I go back,
To something better?
Is this the life,
Of a lonely beggar?
I'm rich beyond my wildest dreams,
But it's not enough!
Not enough it seems...
I've tried so hard,
And got this far,
Quite an achievment for a loser,
A bruiser,
A bad chooser,
I chose to come here,
I left my friends without any fear,
But it has crept up on me,
I am so unhappy,
But I'll live, and I'll live,
And survive,
And gradually,
A purpose will unfold for me.
So that I can see,
The point,
Of life,
Beyond the past,
Beyond this life,
Beyond this place,
I'll get so far,
And I know it!
Don't forget it!
Go far, go far, go far...