Niggy + Poppy

" " she said. How do I know what the silly woman meant? The sun
meant nothing to me as a kid.

Then the pineapple cubes which were in the white paper bag were used to
confuse us. "It's not A-B-C, it's 1-2-3." The T.V is on......"why dont
U sit. down in front of. it........and Dont B in mUmmees way
now."

Little Niggy began masturbating. "Sickening little swine" was
mentioned. he shamed them/us........at an early age.

We played monopoly. BRoke your thumbnail on crooked pipe Brother. We,
I, laugh...................at many fish inthetank. the sillier we were
the more we kissed......

........I did.n't kNOw that then..........but I donow.

I buried the book in.......foil........The garden. Better not show it,
but dog dug it up. so buried it deeper, to Australia and back.

Bad dog, Dadees dog, Dadees bad.............Dog. and watch littl
entities in grasssss.....nake. Bold boLD butter lightssshine under chin
cup. BAR.....bq. 'Phew!' hot, mummy and daddy and steph and colin and
steve and john and mary and peter and steves friend brian, isn't it.
"Hot!" said them, all the time.

silly little boy only wears drinks shorts. I we Bad dog nasty
coff.................CH oke, Ch oke, there's something stuck in doggees
THroat! (Chickin Bone).

N.A.S.T.Y = mummy, so I de-sided what to do:-

"IwillwaittillmummyisasleepandwillgetthepetrolfromthegarageandwillgetthematchesfromthekitchendrawerandIwillsetfiretomummysbedroomandwillrunawaysomewhereIcantbefound"
She said hastily.

I thought that Poppy's intentions were a little silly. But I decided
that I was pretty silly also so it dident matter if Poppy was
to:-

"Boyz R silly!" Poppy said to me. "Like their willies!" This meant that
what she was doing was justified.

"Dadees horrible" Poppy said to mummee. So Poppy got hit. I dident like
being called silly by Poppy so I told Daddee Poppees intentions: "She
wants to burn mummy" I said.......

"I do believe this was the beginning of your sisters mental illness,
Nicky. The insanity primarily became a concern for your parents when
Poppy lost all communication with her mother.
"She pretended to lose all communication with Mummee, she still knew
who mummy was - how nasty she was, she just dident know Mummee was
there for her."
"Poppy suffered from a serious hearing impairment. She became dumb. And
the only visual response she ever gave in tests were towards strong
light. She lacked the basic skills required for communication,
"I can.not and will.not believe you. Poppy could - and did communicate
- with me. I know she did. It was me who caused the trouble - not
poppy.
Don't blame yourself, Nicky. It wasn't your fault. It was nobody's
fault."

MORE BULLSHIT.

Bullshit then????????????????.and bullshit

NOW

Poppy always got in trouble. Mummy said she deserved it. So did Daddy.
So didn't Niggy. so I got into trouble too: 'Dubbel trubbel'.

Mummy said Poppy was a bad influence on me, but I dident think so, so
wrote

NIGGY

4

POPPY

on the tree in thegarden.

IshowedPoppywhatIhaddoneandshewasdelighted.and
shesmiled.andshekissedmeand. Icried.
What's the matter? Poppy asked.
I don't know. I (said).
Soshekissedmeagain.longerthistime.likeinthefilms.
Poppy and I used to laugh when we saw people who kissed in the films,
andwhenmummeeanddaddeekissed!
Poppy got asmack for trying to kiss daddee likethatonce.
soIsaiditdidentmatterbutitdidandpoppygotsenttoherroom.

That ssssssichollagist wozza wan.ker, Niggy thought to himself as he
stood waiting at the bus-station. He dident know what he wastALKing
about. How could he?
He dident even

"NO, Poppy."

I hurt! I hurt! Poppy poppa plaster onnit!

The number 10 bus would take Nicky home if he liked:- Back to Daddy
looking after Mummy now. Mummy in her wheelchair. Mummy with her
(sman) 'Multiple Sclerosis' and grey hair. The number 3a bus would
take Niggy home also.

He felt confused. He had not been able to see Poppy ever since she'd
been taken in. But he was Eighteen now so he could. He could remember
how he felt when they had taken her away......................

Mummy had pretended to look upset like she couldn't go with Daddy in
the car but really she wanted Poppy to go and was just too lazy.

"Ithinkiamgoingtothehospitalnowniggy.mummeesaiditswhatshethinksisbestforme.
whatdoyouthinkniggy?doyouthinkitsbesttogotothehospital?
Then Daddee huried her along and told me to go inside with Mummee but I
dident want to so I ran up the stairs to the toilet and made silly
faces at Poppy at the window instead........................

Niggy had found out since which hospital Poppy had been taken to; the
one round the back of the main hospital on Chevalier St, and had been
given the route to take if he ever wanted to visit
her................

..................So Niggy boarded the number 3a bus,
frightend-ly.

"Hello. I am looking for Poppy Williams, please. I am her bruv.ver."
said Niggy nervously.
"Oh, you've come to see Poppy have you? Do you have a note with
you?"
"Yes, it's here."
Niggy produced a scrumpled up envelope from his jacket pocket and
passed it to the nurse. She smiled. Not in a nice way, but in a smarmy
way, thought Niggy, and then said 'Thankyou...' (she referred to the
note)
"...Nicky, isn't it?"
"Yes." Niggy replied. That's what it says on the note, *doesn't it?!
And as he watched her tap some details into her computer, Niggy noticed
the nurses neck was covered in an epidemic of warts that she tried to
cover with her hair, and it made him feel sick.
"Gosh, so you havn't seen your sister in quite some time then,
Nicky?"
"No." Niggy replied, as plainly as he could.
"Well, she's really not at her best at the moment, so she might not
recognise you, O.K? But if she does then make sure you tell me or one
of the other members of staff, because it's very important, do you
understand?
"Yes." said Niggy, impatiently.
"Now, are you sure you don't want to wait till another day to see your
sister, Nicky? We wouldn't want you getting upset if she doesn't
respond to you being there, now would we?"
"No...umm?...I mean yes. Yes I'm sh-sh-sure." stuttered Niggy.
"Very Well! I'll have Sister Fiona take you to her."

Blud.de smiles. Blud.de nurses, Niggy said to himself,
unconfidently.

The hospital looked funny to Niggy. It had white walls and white sinks
and white doors and white toilets and white PATIENCE. Tiles on floor
pattern, rusty Autumn. But it didn't smell like autumn - too new. It
smelt like the toilet used to smell after mummee had put FRESHner in
it. Poppy emptied Mummees perfume bottles in the toilet once, she said
it smelt better in there than it did on Mummy. I agreed.

I dont like white - white is dirtee, Niggy reminded himself as he
approached the door to poppy private white room.
"Would you prefer to be alone with your sister, Nicky, or would you
like me to be there with you?" said Nurse Fiona. "She can be a bit of a
handful, you know!" she added, patronising-ly.
"A-lone, thankyou." Niggy replied, shak.ily.

TIME....................................................................................................................................................................................................................?????????????????..PASSES

"thereissomuchtotell.somuchtotell.butyoudontwanttohearthatdoyoupoppy?"

WHITE POPPY - POPPY SHOULD BE RED.
NIGHT POPPY - POPPY SHOULD BE DEAD.

.....Niggy said to himself.

Perhaps the psychologist had told the truth after all. Poppy just lay
there: stareLESS, careLESS,
repairLESS................................

"pleasebebetterpoppy.pleasedontbeill.pleasespeaktomepoppypleaseletmelisten.remembersillykissespoppy?remembersillyjesusandmarytoo?
POPPY! POPPY!" Niggy spluttered to himself.

He wanted to wake Poppy up and talk to her about all the things they
had done together, but she lay there inanimate and pale. He cried a
while longer, then at last plucked up the courage to tell Poppy why
this had been his only visit. That he'd wanted to come and see her
everyday but that Mummee and Daddee hadn't allowed him to, but that now
he was old enough he could come and visit her all the time - if she
wanted him to. But still there was no response from the child inside
Poppys choleric and unwomanly body.

Despite feeling his efforts were futile, Niggy told Poppy of what had
happened to their mother, that she had developed M.S. and was confined
to a wheelchair for the rest of her
life..............................

.....A tear trickled down Niggy's cheek, and he felt a chill in the
room he hadn't noticed before. He hadn't bothered to take his coat off,
so that couldn't be it. The walls and the sink and his sisters
shimmering sick skin were whiter too. He had done all he could. He
kissed Poppy dearly on herforehead, and with an emptiness in his
stomach, closed the white door to her room behind him as he
left.........

"That's the best news I've heard in years!" Poppy chuckled to herself,
sill.ily!