The thoughts of Robbie Floyd

Where will I go when I die? Will I go to heaven like everybody says?
Will I be reincarnated into a bird or a fish? Or will it just be
eternal darkness? I always ask myself questions like this and then I
start to think that I'm weird. Do normal people think like this or is
it just me? What is normal though? Is their such a thing as normal?
When I think of normal I think of the preps in school. That's at least
what most people perceive as normal. I know I'm not what most people
would call normal. I'm the kid in the back of the class who doesn't
talk because I'm either too high or I just don't feel like it. I'm the
one who kids look at strangely when I walk down the hallway. I'm the
one who doesn't do his homework even the easiest assignments. People
think it's because I'm stupid but really it's because I don't care. I
don't care about school. I don't care about what the teachers think. I
don't care if my parents get pissed. Like I said I just don't
care!

When you think of my friends you think I guess of the stoners. I really
though like to call us the apathetics. We just sit around talking about
nothing important and try get by. Right now there are only a few of my
friends still in school. They all dropped out because they couldn't
handle being here all day. I would drop out but if I did my parents
would kick me out of the house. It's just a big mind fuck though
because I'm still in school but I'm not passing any of my classes. So
really what's the point of me being here. All my life I've been hearing
that I've got so much potential. Well if I do have so much potential
I'm not using it and frankly I don't care.

At are school we have these kids my friends and I like to call the
prep's. There parents are rich and it shows. They all wear fanciest
clothes and drive really nice cars. They are all about material
possessions. Me I don't really care for material possessions because
they're not going to make you happy. And whoever says they will are
lying to you and they are lying to themselves. I read once in a book "
The rich man is the man who is satisfied with what he has." That is so
true. People try to match happiness with success, which is just
horseshit. Most of the greedy people are the people who are the least
happy. Also the preps are the people all the teachers like. They're the
ones who'll sit at the front of the class and answer all the questions.
I just think it's a waste of time to do stuff like that. If you study
all of the time how can you have fun? I'd rather live a short life and
have lots of fun rather than sit inside all day and study.

A lot of times I think about happiness. Who is really happy? From my
point of view it seems like people just act happy so other people won't
see that they're really sad. I really don't believe that people are
truly happy. Sure people are happy some of the time, Hell I'm happy
some of the time, but for the majority of time I think we, as humans
are unhappy. And if you're unhappy what is the point of putting on an
act? Is it so people will be envious that you're actually happy or is
it that if it seems your happy you might just actually be happy? I
don't know and I don't get it.

School is a bunch of bullshit. Teachers teach you stuff that you won't
even remember after the class is done. I mean I don't need to know when
the American Indian war was. It's nothing that's actually going to be
beneficial in the real world. It won't help me get a better job. I say
that after Junior high there should be no more school. I mean you learn
everything your going to need to know in elementary and Junior high. So
after junior high is over you should go learn a trade. At least you
will be learning something that will help you get a job. I know that
the only thing useful I've learned in high school is how to do the
least amount of work just to get by. Even though I'm failing all my
classes I have up to this point been on track to graduate on
time.

I have trouble seeing how people perceive me. I don't think people
think much of me. I think a lot of people see me as stupid and that I
don't know anything about anything. You know though some day I'm going
to show them. Some day people are going to envy me. They say that my
generation lacks motivation. But all we need is people looking down on
us and that's enough motivation for us to go out and be something so we
can prove them wrong. We'll see where I am in 10 years and I guarantee
it's a lot better than where you think it is. I might not have the
fancy cars or a big house then but I will be the richest man alive!