Call me Elizabeth...

"Shadow, I do love you. I now you know that. But I can't stay.
There's too many places I've yet to see" I stared at him dumbstruck,
unable to mutter a single syllable. He was leaving. He had said that,
and he was always honest with me. But I must have heard wrong. My ears
must be deceiving me. The look on his face though, it told a different
story. I had heard right, and my voice found me for a few precious
seconds, a few seconds to beg for him to stay. A few seconds and I
wouldn't be able to take it anymore. I reached out to him, my arm
ending before his began.

"But, but?please?" was all I managed to get out before I broke down
into uncontrollable sobbing. He was leaving.

Since I'd met him, for the first time in 20 years, I hadn't felt alone.
And now he was throwing it all out the window, and I felt like I had
the day I had seen my father kill my mother. There was nothing I could
do. I was helpless in the situation. Everything had been decided,
without me, and now I was the one to suffer.

I looked at him, ignoring the pain that gripped my heart. The look on
his face told me all I needed to know, he didn't want to do this
either. He had to. But, godamnit, why did he have to do it to me? Why?
There was a way, I knew it. We could just take a break, not see each
other for a while, while he saw all those other places. We could still
be together. He was my soul mate, and he was leaving. He was being so
selfish. I began to cry at the thought that I was begging to be angry
with him when my heart was telling me not to be, to love him no matter
what, and my head was telling me that that was the way to make him
stay. The first time the two agreed, and I was ignoring them. He raised
one of his rough hands to my cheek and wiped my tears.

"I know what you're thinking, darling, and if I were you, I'd think it
too"

"You don't know what I'm thinking"

"You are calling me selfish, that it is all my fault. You are right. It
is all my fault. If I hadn't?" he stopped.

"If you hadn't what?"

"If I hadn't made that damn promise, then I could stay.
But?but...darling, they'll kill me if I don't do this. Really. Bang
bang. Dead, no chance of me ever seeing you again"

"Is there a chance now?"

"Probably. A chance. I don't know. All I know is that I have to
go"

"What is it? What do you have to do? What did you promise? To
who?"

"I can't answer that. I can't lie to you"

"Can't you at least tell me something?"

"I love you"

"I love you too" I whispered, before I couldn't hold it in any longer.
I was apologizing, I don't know if it was silent or not, for thinking
what I was thinking. Berating myself for thinking it. He could die, and
I was calling him selfish. I might never see him again. I looked up,
trying to memorize his face in case. Just in case.

"Your mascara is smudged" is what he said to me.

"I don't care" his eyes locked with mine, and a tear rolled down his
cheek.

"God darling, why did you have to say that?"

"Because its true. I don't care about somthing trivial like that, when
I'm here, saying goodbye to my soulmate, not knowing if he'll ever come
back. And it will wash off easily"

We were sitting outside, on a park bench. The rest of the park was
deserted. A cool wind blew off the bay, blowing my hair into my eyes.
He tucked it behind my ear. Fresh tears cam, and I looked away from
him. His other hand rested on my knee. I put my hand on top of his, and
we sat like that for a long time. Then, he turned my head so I was
looking at him again.

"You're truly something special, Shadow." He stood up, and I did too.
We looked each other in the eyes, then I wrapped my arms around him,
never wanting to let go. His strong arms want around me, and we stood
like that for what seemed like hours. It may have been. Neither of us
wanted to leave. I knew he had to leave. And I believed that if him and
I were really meant to be, we would be. No questions. We would find
each other again. Sometime. Somewhere. Eventually. No matter what it
would take.

"I'll miss you" I whispered

"Miss you too" then he kissed me.

"Let me come with you" I asked when we parted lips. He shook his
head.

"Go back to Grant. He'll make you happy. That's what you deserve. We
might be happy now, but if I stay here with you, things just won't be
the same. Trust me, I know. I love you. Goodbye, Shadow" and he started
to walk away. I looked up at him through my tears and managed to say
his name in a choked voice.

"Riley" he turned, tears in his eyes. And he stood there, silhouetted
by the sun setting on the bay. His hands were in his pockets, his feet
firmly planted on the ground. His gaze met mine, and I whispered "Call
me Elizabeth"