Know Your Limits

"There's only one place I'd bury a body round here." Elliot's
statement came out of the blue as slow as it was. He rarely said
anything, he was there for his strength. The other two men looked up as
they dragged the body across the garage floor towards the trunk.
"Where?" Kyle's reply was rapid. "We can't just throw him in the river
Elliot you stupid fuck."
"Kyle, leave Elliot be." The third man said calmly.
"I know where we can put him Mikey."
"Sure you do Elliot, where can&;#8230;" Mikey hauled the legs in the
trunk and grunted, "&;#8230;we bury him."
Elliot looked down at Mikey and Kyle who had just slammed the lid down
on the trunk and were now breathing heavily leaning on each
other.
"Mikey we can bury him in the cemetery."
"You stupid fu&;#8230;" Kyle was interrupted.
" Kyle if you ever come up with an idea that fucking clever, I'll put
you through college myself. Now come on."

Officer Jerkman slipped down the steps of the house belonging to widow
Cornwell after nearly an hour's entertainment. He refreshed his hat and
placed it on the passenger seat of his squad car and switched on the
radio. Nothing was cooking on his side of town this evening, not that
it ever did. He looked back at the house to see the widow Cornwell
waving from behind a net curtain. Jesus, he'd have to get out of that,
but damn she had a great ass. He gave a twee wave in return. He started
up the engine. The boys at the garage had tuned her that afternoon, a
service they provided for free every couple of weeks. Mikey tuned her
personally whilst Officer Jerkman overlooked Kyle's attitude and dope
habit. Jerkman's squad car was purring like the widow Cornwell had been
ten minutes ago. He released the brake and headed toward town for a
well-earned coffee and a smoke.

Mikey's corvette was red, red like blood and she rumbled like an
earthquake as she stood on the garage forecourt.
"C'mon Kyle. What the fuck are you doing back there?" Mikey screamed
back at his brother.
"I'm there now bro' just forgot something." Kyle slammed the door,
threw Mikey a cheesy grin and then repeated the gesture for Elliot who
sat nervously and cramped in the back with the shovels. Elliot pushed
Kyle hard in the face, clearly not amused.
"What the fuck is the matter with you fatman, Mikey&;#8230;"
"Shut the fuck up Kyle, Elliot you OK back there?" Mikey kept
cool.
"I just don't like killing people Mikey, it ain't right." Elliot spoke
slowly and softly.
"It ain't right Elliot. I know that, our brother here Kyle knows that
and you know that Elliot. But this man hurt our momma. Elliot
y'understand', he hurt momma real bad and he was gonna hurt you Elliot
before he was through."
"It had to be done Elliot," Kyle pitched in.
"Now you gotta understand Elliot, you can't tell no folks about this
y'hear, not ever." Elliot looked away. "Look at me Elliot, look at me,"
Mikey reached back and grabbed his chin. "If you tell one soul, just
one soul what happened on this day or tonight then we'll all be rottin'
in the ground, you get me Elliot?"
Elliot finally nodded and quietly said, "Mikey let's go."

Mikey didn't realise at first, only when Elliot kicked the back of the
seat sharply did he realise that Officer Jerkman has pulled up
alongside his red prize bull at the lights. He muttered under his
breath.
"Fuck." Jerkman had wound down the window and was mouthing something.
Mikey wound down his window and Jerkman repeated himself.
"How ya doing Mikey, boys?" Jerkman half saluted and looked the
Corvette up and down. "I love that car." He emphasised the word love so
that it sounded like lurve.
"Hey there Officer, how's she running?" Mikey looked over the squad
car.
"Never better Mikey, never better." Jerkman began to get out of the car
and the brothers all began to look at each other. Jerkman signalled to
the cars behind him to wait, even if the lights changed. He was coming
over.
"This is it, this is it!" Kyle was panicking and fumbling for
something.
"Kyle," Mikey was calm, "Do NOT fucking shoot the policeman. Shoot the
policeman and I will fucking shoot you in the balls." Mikey was
gritting his teeth. "Put that fucking thing away."
Kyle stuffed the pistol between his legs and sat tight and hoped it
wouldn't go off. Jerkman leant in a looked up and down.
"Nice, nice, Mikey, what she top out at? 145, 150?" Jerkman was duly
impressed.
"155", Elliot stammered from the back.
"155? Fuck me every way till Wednesday Mikey, that's fast." Jerkman
shook his head, wolf-whistled and began to laugh. Mikey joined in the
fun, followed by Kyle and finally Elliot. Jerkman continued. "You
reckon you could take me in my above average, standard issue squad
vehicle?"
Mikey turned down his bottom lip.
"Be close. Whaddya think Elliot? Would Officer Jerkman's above average,
standard issue squad vehicle be up to the task of whoopin' my little
red Corvette?"
"No way Mikey, we got one hundred brake on him." Elliot was beginning
to have fun.
"Wanna try?" It was hard to tell if Jerkman was being serious.
"I don't be needin' no ticket and no trip to see no judge Officer
Jerkman." Mikey was as diplomatic as he could be.
"I ain't gonna book you boys, whaddya all take me for? Look, two miles
down the main, first one to the bridge, ten buck says I beat ya."
Mikey looked at Kyle and then back at Elliot, who had barely looked up
from the floor since Jerkman had stuck his nose in.
"Can't do any harm bro'." Kyle shrugged.
"Okay, Officer Jerkman, you got yerself a race, wait till them lights
go green again and that's your go."

Jerkman looked pleased with himself as he got back into the squad car
and he revved the engine in celebration of his mood. Both engines got
louder in anticipation of the green light. The empty street ahead of
them beckoned. Green! The streams of smoke cloaked the cars and choked
those who watched from behind at the lights wished Mikey and Jerkman
had simply got their cocks out to compare length five minutes ago. The
squad car roared ahead as the Corvette followed closely in its
slipstream. 90&;#8230;95&;#8230;100&;#8230;105&;#8230;110,
Jerkman felt like he was gonna push his foot right through the floor.
Through the back windshield Mikey sees Jerkman hunched over the
steering wheel like a cyclist rushing downhill.
120&;#8230;125&;#8230;130&;#8230;135. Jerkman was losing them.
135 and they couldn't keep up. 140 and he could see the bridge. He
began to slow; there was no point in killing himself and besides they
couldn't pass. He stopped the squad car, wound down the window and
waited for the Corvette to pull up alongside.
"You boys let me win?"
"No sir, looks like you got what it takes, 'sides we gotta little extra
weight back here," Mikey pushed his thumb back at Elliot who pushed a
ten dollar bill into his hand as he did so.
"Sure thing Mikey, sure thing, see you round boys."
Mikey passed Jerkman the ten-dollar bill, which was stuffed in the
shirt pocket of his tan uniform. Jerkman span the car round and headed
back towards town.
"Fuck me Mikey, fuck m&;#8230;"
"Shut the fuck up Kyle, we still got a body to bury."