My Dinosaur Era Chapter 13
By beanzie
- 35 reads
a couple of hours later we end up in shoreham
the industrial strip fades away, the river dominates
the high street is buzzing, people sit out, drinking, laughing
I never come here anymore, used to live over the river, behind the houseboats
too many shadows here, annie moved away, others may remain
I need a piss, I say
I do but I also fancy a livener as my hangover abates
are you up to having a drink, she says
yeah, I think I can manage it, I say
we slip into the crown and anchor, used to come here years ago
watched friday night fights, lager all round lads
I order at the bar, nip away to the toilet
I have a fruity cider, classic morning after pint
petula has a small glass of white wine
we walk through the tables to the back of the pub, sit outside by the river
small boats bounce on the ebb, I can see the roof of my old home
I wonder how we look to the people in the bar
the beautiful woman in the pink jumpsuit
older bloke in tow, sallow skin, haunted eyes
I say older, I have no idea how old she is, younger than me
not too young, maybe thirty five, shit, is that obscene
petula, how old are you, I say
I am forty two, tim, she says
just wondered, I mean, it’s not important, I say
well, you must have thought it was worth knowing at least, she says
worth knowing and important are different, I say
that is true, she says, you’re fifty two
I have no secrets that ginny can’t blab, I say
she told me when she first mentioned you, she says
oh, right, like, I know this really old man, I say
no, not like that, it was as if she was reading out a dating profile, she says
what were my interests then, I say
music, drinking, being a melancholic fucker, she says
that sounds entirely like something she would say, I say
oh and biscuits, she said you like biscuits, she says
I don’t have biscuits anymore, I say
oh, ok, she says
I take a big draw from my pint, she turns her glass around by the stem
forty two is fine, not that it matters, not that we’re going to be a couple
she does look younger, must be all the yoga and halloumi
message from ginny
are you alive, she says
just about, in shoreham, I say
why, did you get lost, she says
heh, no, petula’s idea, I say
as long as you kids are having fun, she says
kids, heh, we’re both older than you, I say
only in some respects, she says
sorry, ginny just checking that I survived being out with her, I say
that’s sweet, says petula, she does seem to care about you
I think she does, hard to tell sometimes, I say
were you two ever a thing, she says
no, never, I say
did it ever get close to that, she says
not really, when we first met, I thought something might happen, I say
why didn’t it, she says
I don’t really know, I say, how did you meet her
it was in a bar, she just came up to me and started telling me I was so beautiful, she says
oh so she was hitting on you, sounds about right, I say
yeah, she asked if she could kiss me, she says
again, sounds like standard ginny, I say
I almost said yes, I’ve never kissed a woman, she says
but you said no, I say
I told her I was into guys and that’s when she mentioned you, she says
just like that, I says
just like that, she says
I’m glad she did, I say
me too, she says
do you want to eat, I say
maybe we can go somewhere else for lunch. she says
yeah, the food here is not great, at least it wasn’t the last time I was here, I say
ok, I’ll have a check on my phone, see what looks good, she says
my pint is done, she’s only had half her wine, no rush today
I might get a glass of wine, to keep you company, I say
sorry, I drink so slowly, sure, go ahead, she says
I go to the bar, order a large rioja
looking back at petula, bringing the table to life
legs crossed, squinting into her phone
perhaps checking the local ship situation
I take a big sip of my wine before I leave the bar
ashamed that I bought a big glass, no one would care
there’s not much that I fancy, she says, not sure I am even that hungry
I sit down, take another sip of wine, diminish it
we could just go back to brighton, I say, I’m not starving either
ok then, she says
the rioja is surprisingly good, I think about bilbao
sitting by another river, drinking bottles of this stuff
I hold up the glass, watch the sun light it up
you look like you’re enjoying that, she says
yeah, it’s not bad, made me think of bilbao, drinking it there, I say
I’ve never been, she says
it’s a beautiful place, I try and go there when I can, I say
well, as your between jobs, you could go now, she says
I suppose I could, I say
we take the long route to the station, along the high street, over the bridge
find our way down to the far side of the river, behind the houseboats
we walk past the back fence of my old home, another brief landing space
I try to see over the fence, check the garden for changes
glimpses of lawn add nothing, is the fence taller now, could be
we walk close to each other along the narrow path
stopping to gaze at some of the wondrous marine creations
an old german frigate repurposed as waterside home
hamish’s crazy glass panels that form a bay window
the boat transformed into a giant dragonfly
do you know him, she says
hamish, not really, I used to say hello to him when I lived over here, I say
that’s some good stuff he was on when he came up with that, she says
I can feel the two quick drinks swirling in my head
I close my eyes for a moment as we stand by the boat, petula takes my hand
her fingers so gently ease their way into mine, I open my eyes
she is still in awe of hamish’s handiwork, looking out and up into the insect eyes
I look at her neck, the curve seems unseemingly perfect
even her ears seem to be mini sculptures
created by a japanese master, took them a decade to complete
I want to pinch her, gently, just to check, that this is real
she looks back to me, smiling, I look straight back into her eyes
slight convulsion in my abdomen, I miss a breath, vision wobbling
partly the booze, partly petula’s face
what are you thinking about, she says
how much I like your big weird face, I say
I like your face too, it’s very well put together, especially your nose, she says
my nose, it’s a bit big, isn’t it, I say
she runs a finger down it, skiing from my forehead to my mouth
yes, it’s a good nose, tim, she says
I mean, thanks, I say
what time’s the next train, she says
I have no idea, I say
nor have I, she says
we walk along the path, our fingers still touching, not holding hands
yet not, not holding hands, palms meeting between us
like this is how people should hold hands
not the grasping, the clasping, too urgent, desperate
this, this is how it should be done
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