My Dinosaur Era Chapter 4

By beanzie
- 15 reads
ginny had known for a few weeks about jane
not when she brought us together
that was because she saw how lonely we both were and decided to create a union, she said that she knew it was the correct thing to do the moment she saw my face at her door
you looked so sad and so did she, she said, I knew you could only be happier together
jane had told her that her main regret was never getting married
marry timmy, ginny told her
why would he want to marry me now, jane said
because he definitely loves you and he wants you to be happy, said ginny
ok but how can I tell him, it’s all so difficult, said jane
I will tell him, said ginny
and that is how it happened
when I went back to jane’s flat, she was there, by the door, hovering, ready for me as I entered
oh timmy, she said, oh timmy
and she threw her arms around me
I could smell wine on her breath, I thought you didn’t like it, I said
I don’t, she said, but I found some in the cupboard and I wanted to try
why didn’t you tell me that you were going to die, I said
how do you tell someone that, someone you love this deeply, she said
yes, I suppose, I said, I love you too
we finished the wine
started to watch peep show from the beginning,
naked under a sheet on the sofa
she had never seen it, me on my sixth rewatch
isn’t that the oscar woman, she said
olivia colman, I said
oh yes, oh my, is she in this, she said
she is, she is in it a lot, I said
the sadness that should have prevailed could not breathe in the room with us
we choked it with our kindness to each other
every biscuit proffered
each wiggle of our fingers
all the minutes of us
conspired to push the grief into the corners
in the morning I made coffee from the skyscraper machine and took it to her in bed, it was raining and the corner of sea that I could see was grey
a seagull swooped past the window
it eyed me for a beat
swooped away, back into the dullness
as I put the coffee down on the bedside table
there it was, the sadness that we had shooed away last night
I looked at her ear and imagined it as ashes scattered from the pier
I slid back in next to her, kissed her on the cheek
I sprawled myself over her, covering her protecting her
listening for the sickness inside her
tears came
one bounced into her closed eye
momentarily balancing on her lashes
timmy, you musn’t cry, she said, eyes still closed
I tried to pull the tear back in, I retract that cry
she put her hand on my chest, drawing circles in the hair
eyes opened slowly
we don’t have the time for tears my love, she said
I know, I said
I think dying people are meant to do all the things they wanted to do before they die
like a bucket list, she said
like make a wish kids, I said
yes, she laughed, yes, just like that
you wished you could get married and that will be coming true, I said
I know, she said, kissing me on the cheek
what else do you want to do, I said
eat biscuits with you, watch peep show with you, she said, oh and I want to have a kfc bucket because I have never had one and they look lovely
they’re not, I said
oh, she said
I mean, they are but they are also not, I said, but we should have one, the really big one that is meant for twelve people or whatever it is
ok, let’s do that, she said, but I mainly want to get married to you
ginny is on the case
she had already been to see about getting an emergency license
do you think we should kiss, I said
now, she said
yes, I said
yes, she said
we kissed that morning for the first time, we barely stopped kissing for the rest of her life
we had a ridiculously proportioned KFC bucket, each
we were married a week later
made it to season seven of peep show before she became too sick
she died five weeks later, her last biscuit was a bourbon, her favourite
I refused to cry at her funeral, at least till I got back home
ginny sat with me for a couple of days, making us both vodka milkshakes
we finished off peep show
I never had KFC again
I stayed in the flat for another month, she’d inherited it from her grandmother and now it was being passed further along the chain
it was being sold, her estate split between some family and a few charities
she left me £17719.73
my date of birth
I walked down the stairs to the outer hallway, looked up at the banisters above me
I was leaving our love here, like a time capsule for future generations to discover
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