I'm Contemplating Contemplating Suicide

It's been two weeks since my girlfriend left me and I'm beginning to
contemplate contemplating suicide.
I'm thinking it would be pretty cool to be one of those people that
commits suicide. I mean, look at Kurt Cobain, he's revered.
Man, I just don't know if I actually want to contemplate suicide,
though. I guess, in a lot of ways it's dangerous, and yet some how
seductive.
I could contemplate contemplating hanging myself. I bet I'd get up and
look around the house for good things to hang my rope on. Or, maybe, I
could contemplate contemplating slitting my wrists, in that case I'd
have to look around the house for sharp objects.
I just got off the phone where I told my ex-girlfriend that I was
contemplating contemplating suicide. "No, don't even think about doing
it!" she said.
So, I guess she gets the logistics of the idea of contemplating
contemplating suicide. Otherwise, she would have said "Don't do
it!"
It's just like the time I contemplated contemplating getting a guitar
and taking some lessons. I thought about what it would be like to look
in the phone book for guitar teachers, or how I would have to shell out
dough in order to get the lessons. That's pretty much where that
ended.
I'm starting to get bored of contemplating contemplating suicide. I
think the whole effort of trying to find a means to end my pathetic
life would be way too painstaking.
Now, I'm going to contemplate contemplating getting drunk
tonight.
Uh, oh, I'm now contemplating getting drunk.
No, I'm better now. I'll contemplate contemplating seeing a movie.