Just write

Just write / Edna Aphek

“Just write”. She said
“Write your memories. Start with one.”
So many memories that I would like to forget, racing one against the other, in an attempt to be the first.
“You must drink the hot cocoa”. Hanna, my second grade teacher was saying,” It’s good for you, it’s very nourishing.”
It smelled like dirty socks.
“I don’t want to”, I wined. “It stinks.”
“Watch your language”, she said.
“Drink. You must. All the other good children do”
Food was very scarce in those days. It was the time of austerity, imposed on the newly born country, by the Minister of Rationing and Supply, Dov Yosef.
Hanna must have added that children in China would have been very happy to get such a wonderful drink , and that I was a pampered and ungrateful child.

Every day the cocoa ceremony would take place.
Somehow I managed to avoid drinking it, until that horrible day.
We used to get food in school, in those days.
I can’t remember what that food entailed besides the hateful cocoa
“Drink it”, she said again.
She was an extremely thin woman, who certainly needed to drink the “nourishing” liquid which not only smelled bad but also had an ugly skin all over it.
“You hear what I said?! Are you listening?” She yelled.
“I won’t drink it”, I said.
“Yes you’ll, now!” she got red, beginning to loose her temper.
Her white, thin arms were trembling.
Thirty plus pairs of eyes were looking at me.
A new hero was born.
A second grader opposing her teacher .
I was a good girl and wanted so much to be considered one by my teacher. I would have done almost anything to please her, except drink this abominable unidentifiable stinking liquid.

Hanna had to show the class who was in control.
I was a wonderful eater and still am.
There were so very few foods or drinks that I would not take in, that my refusal to drink what our newly formed government provided for us, was interpreted as an act of utter disrespect and rebellion.
By now Hanna and I were both in tears only hers didn’t show.

“Drink it”, her squeaky voice commanded , “or I’ll let your mother know what a horrible little child you are”.
The very mention of my mother must have done it.
She was a teacher too, a huge woman whose taste in close was almost as bad as Hanna’s.

I took the blue plastic cup. Hanna was delighted.
The thirty plus pairs of eyes were quiet.
I slowly examined the smelly cup and then poured its contents on the floor.
The only sound in the class was that of the liquid splashing against the floor.
Hanna was stupefied.
She knew that the act of mutiny had to be put out immediately before all the thirty plus subjects would follow.
For a moment or two she looked purple to me and didn’t move nor make a sound.
My eyes liquid was starting to leak.
This helped Hanna gain her strength back.
“You bad girl”, she yelled at the top of her tiny, squeaky, voice,” Go to the janitor, and get a rag and pail and clean what you spilt on the floor.”
Hanna continued yelling at the top of her voice, which was somewhat hoarse now “and once you have cleaned the floor you’ll see the headmaster. He’ll teach you to respect and obey your teacher.”

I felt guilty and ashamed.
I have just wasted good nourishment that could have saved the lives of children in China, or even in my own country.
Crying ,frightened and miserable I went to the janitor.
It was a very long journey.
He gave me the rag and a pail.
The rag was moist, oozy and dirty and it smelled worse than the cocoa.
I entered the shabby looking class room, which was reeking of spilt cocoa, and cleaned the mess I made.
I was squeezing the rag and empting the dirty, smelly water into the pail that came with the rag.
My tears got mixed with the stinky cocoa - water.
I don’t remember the headmaster scene, but I guess it took place and that it must have been most unpleasant.

I didn’t drink cocoa for many, many years after that incident.
When I was in my twenties, and got infatuated with grey-eye Micha, who loved drinking cocoa, I made a huge sacrifice, and drank cocoa too.
Waiting to smell the most unpleasant smell, I had a surprise:
It smelled quite good and didn’t taste that bad.
Unfortunately, when Micha found a better cocoa lover, I never returned to my once hated-newly liked drink.