Cold Teeth

“Well this is your first night. I will show you as many things as I can. I have made these check lists for you, to help you get in a stream”.
“That’s fine, thank you very much for trying to help me get eased into the job”.
“It’s just because I don’t want you or anybody else to go through what I had to go through. No help, no guidance, nothing. Dropped in the cold cold ocean. That’s why I am doing this, to break this vicious circle and do it right. But, to make things as clear as they can be, three things.”
“What do you mean?”
“What I mean is that I want you to follow three basic rules. First, never drink before work or during work. The same goes for drugs as well. Second, never fall asleep and I mean never, just do whatever you have to, in order to stay awake. It is very important and a very big responsibility, we don’t play with human lives. And third, never fuck me with dodgy behavior, no stealing, etc. Professionalism. All clear?”
“Yes, I think I can manage. I will not let you down”
“I know, you look like you won’t. You seem a very dependable person. I like you.”
“Let’s do a walk around now”.
“There is somebody at the door”.
“Is there? Oh, it’s Mr. Johansen. He is ok, he isn’t too much trouble. He is like one of these fallen aristocrats, he goes down the pub and he has a few shandies and when he goes back home his wife doesn’t let him in because he is drunk. So, he comes here. I give him the room at whatever price, depending on the day of course, it’s ok when we are not busy.”
“Good evening, Mr. Johansen. How are you today? Staying with us tonight?”
“Ye , es” said a very quiet and fragile voice.
Leather jacket half way zipped, messy gray hair and red nose and ears. A little bit on a space walk and a stinky talk. That’s how Mr. Johansen was. Poor bastard, his wife locking him out of the house. I was never certain if he was doing it on purpose, so he can stay with us and get a few extra hours of drinking.
He came in, sat in an armchair in the lounge and ordered a couple of beers. We were laying low in the lounge to keep an eye out. Half an hour later or so, we heard a weird noise. It was something between an electric drill and a hippopotamus, we turned around and Mr. Johansen was fast asleep, snoring like there was no tomorrow. I approached him and tried to wake him up, but it was a waste of time.
“Mr. Johansen, Mr. Johansen? Sir? You have to go to your room, you can’t sleep here.” “Mmm, What?”
“You have to go to your room. You have paid for it, no refunds. So you might as well use it. If you stay here I will have to charge you for the armchair as well.” Trying to joke about it in my desperate effort to wake him up.
“Do you understand what I am saying?”
“Mmmm, Yes I will go now. I just have to use the loo first”.
“Of course. Come this way, please?” I showed him the way to the toilet and on my way back I saw something on the floor. Bart was there with me.
“What is that, man?”
“I have no idea” I replied. Tried to get a better look and I was stunned.
“Is that what I think it is?”
“I think it is”.
Mr. Johansen entered the room, without of course having any idea what was going on.
“Mr. Johansen?”
“Yes, I know. I am going now , I just need to get my jacket.”
“OK, but I was referring to something else. Have you lost something?” He started checking his pockets, his jacket and on the table.
“No, I have everything” he replied while moving back and forth, not being able to hold his liquor.
“Are you sure? Maybe you should check elsewhere as well. A little bit higher maybe. Because we found something that might belong to you”.
“Yes, I am certain”.
“OK then. Come with me. Is this yours?”
“What?” “That thing on the floor”.
“Ooohhh, yes it is mine” and he bent his knees to reach it. Then he opened his mouth and put it back in, said goodnight, he thanked us and left for his room. We couldn’t believe what was happening right in front of our eyes. He didn’t even wash it first or clean it, well I don’t know what could you do with a dental prosthesis but at least wash it before you put it in your mouth. Then it all kind of suddenly started making sense.