Love

after a while, all the feelings disappear,
one cannot even feel pleasure
after having been made into a tool
for other people's polymorphous pleasures,
so one goes back to one's own race,
I AM KOREAN, and they
stick you back into some subterreanean hell,
make you feel like an idiot,
telling you what being a korean means,
saying, I AM OLDER THAN YOU AND IN KOREAN
CULTURE, YOU ALWAYS OBEY THE ORDER OF BIG BROTHER,
and then you think you love someone
out of desperation and that person
just likes you cause you are the bank.

I like to look at faces, I paint them with points
of pain,
I like to imagine their lives and wonder
how much they can laugh
before they break,
they are played and played and they feel
they can play me cause I am a minority, then
I become angry and think
what's the point of having a friend?

I feel sad for the blacks and the hispanics,
at least they have moments of real happiness
in their pain which they hide with sexuality,
but I think,
I am happy when I succeed, when I win, and it lasts for
a week at times,
and then,
I imagine that I am dying, having absorbed so much pain,
telling myself truths I could not handle before,
trying to find the limits...