Masochistic

I am masochistic
I am masochistic
I listen to sad music and I cry
I weigh my self with responsibilities
Then want to commit suicide
I wallow in other people's misery
And I want to die

I am masochistic
I read stories that make my eyes tear
I watch endless horror movies
To prove I have no fear
I hang around everyone
But never let them near

I am masochistic
I get love and I try my best to deny it
I get attention, and I want to push it away
I get criticism, it makes me sad but stronger
I hate compliments, they don't help me in any way

I am masochistic
I have a perfect relationship
And I'm worried it will last
I ignore the good in life
And cling onto the past
I claim that I'm negative
And where a positive mask

I am masochistic
I find good in my pain and I laugh through it
I had a good friendship and I blew it
I'm two faced and catty
And yet I never knew it

I am masochistic
I find pleasure in listening to other people's pains
I have my own troubles and I always complain
I rewind my problems, my struggles through the rain
And I watch them replaying, time and time again

I am masochistic