F 6/4/02

Work Diary, 6/4/02

For the past several years I've worked from a cube, talking on the
phone to people I hope to never meet in person. Talking so much on the
phone is annoying at best and downright nerve-wracking at worst. So, in
the interest of public relations, I've come up with some tips:

1. Your three-year-old child should probably not answer the phone if he
or she is unable to form complete sentences. The same goes for your
fifteen-year-old teenager (although rude behavior by teenagers is
somewhat excusable because they think no one understands their pain.
They're wrong, of course; we all understand their pain. We just don't
care).

2. On the topic of those who answer the phone and are able to write, a
quick lesson on taking a message is a good idea. Naturally the message
would include legible writing on its own sheet of paper. It's hard to
decipher numbers that are scribbled on the back of a piece of onionskin
salvaged from the trashcan.

3. Basic etiquette can keep phone conversations about nasty subjects
civil on both sides. For instance, answering the phone with a grumpy
"Yah?" is sure to set the caller on edge. The much maligned and simple
"Hello" works much better.

4. If you are sleeping and do not wish to be awakened, you might
consider turning the phone off. Quite frankly, a caller neither knows
nor cares that you are sleeping; subsequently, a caller doesn't expect
to be yelled at for actually getting through the line.

5. If your spouse or child insists on talking to you while you're on
the phone, a simple "I'm on the phone, darling" should quiet the
intruder. If that doesn't work, a more forceful "Please shut the hell
up" should suffice.

Hope the above help?