Wishing...

Brenda's eyes bulged in anticipation: the store security officer's
first shoplifter. On the CCTV monitor a middle-aged woman blatantly
stuffed items into her shopping bag from the baby section. Harry, the
manager, behind Brenda, mixed powder into a glass of water, nervously
wolfed down the concoction and smiled ill at ease.

Brenda, it's - er - your first day...must learn to look the other at
this customer."

Brenda about turned to face Harry in disbelief. "Let her off, sir?"
snarled the ex-army sergeant, throwing out her chest eager to make an
impression. "I'm employed to apprehend shoplifters - sir!"

"Brenda, Lavinia Alderton is ill."

"Barmy, eh, sir?" Brenda felt cheated. "Shouldn't she be in that loony
bin down the road, then, sir?"

Harry recoiled at the harshness of her tone. "That's a maternity
hospital, Brenda - not an asylum."

"Women swinging the lead don't get a section eight in the army,
sir

"Well, this isn't the army, Brenda. And Lavinia's not barmy, loony or
swinging the lead, as you put it."

Brenda grimaced. "But she is a thief, sir."

"Just pity Lavinia, Brenda. Mrs Alderton doesn't really need to
shoplift, you see, she - well - comes from a wealthy family."

"That's no excuse for nicking your goods, sir, not above the
law."

Harry frothed at the mouth. "Brenda - just leave Lavinia Alderton to me
- Okay?"

Brenda succumbed to her army discipline, shot to attention, and whipped
up a salute, then made a quick-march exit. Harry wiped his brow in a
cold sweat, picked up the phone, and dialled. "Oh, this is the manager
of the Bargain Store. I'd like to speak to the bank manager please - Mr
Godfrey Alderton..."

He waited, fiddling adoringly with a stack of money on his desk.
Darlene raced up the aisle pushing a pram and parked it beside Lavinia
who peered inside it. "Oh, he's gorgeous. Oh, I do envy young mothers.
You must be very proud, my dear."

The girl, not really wanting to converse, threw baby foods, at random,
into a supermarket basket eager to get away. Lavinia tutted. "Not
those. These are for new born babies, dear." She swapped the selected
items for others. "Should be breast feeding, you know, creating a bond
between mother and baby. I know I would, dear."

Darlene, clearly distressed, moved to leave. Lavinia blocked her path,
sensing something wrong, anxious to help. "Look, let's have a nice cup
of tea and a chat at the store restaurant, before you go -,"

Eyes bulging with rage, Darlene looked as if she would strike Lavinia,
whose attention was on the baby when he stirred. "Perhaps the poor
mite's due for his feed."
Darlene checked her wristwatch, hand shaking. "My dear - you're
trembling. The least I can do is drive you home."

Darlene surged the pram forward in a mood change. Lavinia stood her
ground, pitying her. "You look tired and drawn, dear. You know, your
body's gone through a lot, giving birth - mentally and
physically!"

Brenda came to investigate. Saw the girl distressed. "Everything
alright, miss?"

"Oh, buzz off, Brenda," said Lavinia, arm around the girl. "Poor girl's
gone through a traumatic experience. I can take care of the poor
dear."

Brenda ogled Lavinia suspiciously in true army style, like she would a
raw recruit. Lavinia took charge of the pram, Darlene somewhat dazed.
"Come dear, let's have that cuppa."

Darlene powerless to protested, and anxiously, refused to be led away.
Brenda narrowed her eyes at Lavinia. "She really doesn't look too well,
Mrs Alderton."

Lavinia nodded in agreement. "She should be resting. Bet she was only
discharge from hospital this morning. Do you have children,
Brenda?"

Brenda cleared her throat somewhat embarrassed by the question.
"Perhaps - erm - miss needs a bit of fresh air." Darlene broke down and
cried and, in a panic attack, fled outside to the car park.

Lavinia realised she was alone with the baby, and, having been cheated
out of her right to be a mother, experienced a certain pride for the
first time in her life. Her husband had showed no sympathy when she
told him of her infertility. 'Children? Dirty, smelly things,' he'd
said. 'Adoption is out of the question, woman.' She wondered how a baby
could possibly harm his standing in the local community: his impeccable
reputation.

Lavinia pushed 'her bungle of joy" down the aisle, nodding her
contentment to passing shoppers as if in a royal Parade. Brenda darted
past her, challenged her exit like a sentry on guard duty, But Lavinia,
not fearing her enemy's arrogance, threw back her head in defiance,
determined to savour her moment of glory.

***

Harry pleaded into the phone, a candidate for a nervous breakdown. "Mr
Alderton, I-I'm aware you - you -er - don't want the law
involved...that you always settle up what Lavinia steals - er - forgets
to pay for...but it's Brenda - she's ex military police..." Harry
suddenly clasped a hand over the phone. ..."Oh, my God."

Brenda manoeuvred Lavinia and the pram into the office, as if guiding a
tank into position. She made her report to Harry. "Not satisfied with
nicking baby things, sir. Now it's kidnapping."

"Where's the mother, Brenda?"

"Mrs Alderton scared her off, sir, then nicked her baby."

Harry sank back in his chair. "Oh, Lavinia! How can your husband
protect you now?"

Brenda shoved her face into Harry's. "Harry, not made some sort of a
deal with her old man - not to prosecute - have you, mate?"

Lavinia jumped in. "Geoffrey will offer you the same deal Brenda, I'll
bet - generous bank concessions to save his face. Right Harry?"

Brenda snatched the phone from Harry and shouted down it. "Bribe the
army, Mr Alderton - sir? What a nerve! Shove it!" She slammed it down
in further defiance.

Lavinia chuckled. "Serve Godfrey right, if it's splashed all over the
newspapers. Then he might agree to fertility treatment."

"It's a job for the police, Harry."

"Oh, Brenda," laughed Lavinia. "The mother went outside for a breath of
fresh air - you told her to - remember? Probably still out there,
wandering about, Harry. No doubt suffering from postnatal depression,
poor dear."

"She deserves a military court marshal this one."

"Lavinia's not in your army, Brenda. And nor am I."

"Oh, I'm sorry for causing you all this trouble, Harry," said Lavinia,
lifting baby out of its pram and comforting it. "Nothing personal, you
understand. I'd hoped pilfering would make Geoffrey see reason, but
he's too pig-headed."

"What's that on the baby's wrist?" asked Harry.

"A hospital name tag," said Lavinia, checking. "I knew the mother had
come straight from the hospital this morning. Is little Christopher
hungry, then?"

Harry sickened by it all, gulped tablets from a bottle.

***

Baby Christopher was reunited with his real mother. Darlene had stolen
him from the maternity hospital. Lavinia's interfering had caused
Darlene to panic. Once apprehended, doctors confirmed that Darlene's
recent miscarriage had left her depressed. Lavinia sympathised and
vowed to help Darlene with her rehabilitation.
Lavinia - now a heroine - became a household name. However, her
greatest moment was an invitation to become Christopher's
godmother.

THE END