Back to the Wall

I have no control,
I'm only the darkside,
My mind spins like a wheel,
And Ive nowhere to hide.

Events aren't the reason,
My mind just runs riot,
Nothing can stop it,
Why can't it be quiet.

I'm just raw emotion,
I don't have a "Wall"
No cushions for feelings,
Nothing at all.

She was my wall,
And when things hurt me,
I was safe because,
She wouldn't desert me.

Now what can protect,
My soul laid bare,
I don't want a wall but,
What else is there?

I don't know if I need arms around me,
But I know I need the drugs to calm me.