Day at work

9.30
Trainee Produce Manager (JAMES) to highly strung music student Salad
Bar Operative (Steph):
If you'd just pull your finger out of your bum and do some
work...!

9.45
STEPH, wandering by to get something out of the chiller:
I'm going to KILL JAMES

10.00
Floral assistant/shelf stacker (RUTH) to person who does ordering
(Roger):
Couldn't we have some more flowers at weekends?
ROGER:
received wisdom is weekends don't sell flowers...

10.15
A CUSTOMER to Ruth:
Just a little tip, dear, had you ever thought of stocking
gysophillia?

10.30
STEPH, wandering by to get something off the shelf Ruth is stacking
because there are no more flowers:
&;#8230;with my biggest knife

10.45
Ruth is supposed to be doing peas and beans. For some reason there are
no peas and beans. There are twenty six boxes of radishes and eleven
boxes of fennel though. STEPH, collecting something for salad bar from
chiller:
&;#8230;Stab stab stab

11.00
Ruth, while emptying floral buckets manages to knock over the full
one
RUTH to the store cleaner Joe:
I'm SO SORRY
JOE:
No worries, mate
Joe has come to treat Ruth spilling water as Sylvester Stallone would
shrug off a burning beam in a disaster movie

11.15
JOE shows Ruth a gold earring he's found on the floor:
Might be worth a bit. Can you see a hallmark? I've left my specs
upstairs
RUTH:
Who's going to want one earring?
Joe looks canny, and goes off round the store casually asking likely
looking students if they like Boy George

11.30
A CUSTOMER to Ruth:
Why is there never any gypsophillia? I suppose alstroemeria will have
to do...
RUTH to customer:
I'm sorry, we haven't any alstroemeria

11.45
PETE (student shelf stacker):
I'm so bored

12.00
JAMES to Ruth:
when you have a minute, could you put some flowers out please?
RUTH:
we haven't GOT any flowers, we didn't have any last week, or the week
before, we NE
JAMES:
Oh, God

12.15
A CUSTOMER to Ruth:
Do you have any runner beans?

12.30
Ruth goes to look for runner beans as customer refuses to believe there
aren't any
JAMES to Ruth:
If we don't have what they want, offer them an alternative!
James finds 8 crates of spring onions with today's date on in chiller
behind the radishes

12.45
auditioning for R.A.D.A. TANNOY ANNOUNCEMENT:
We would like to draw your attention to some half price spring onions
on our produce department

1.00
Disappointed departing customer drops leather specs case. Joe picks it
up. Ruth is about to give it back to the customer. JOE,
exasperated:
OI, What you DOING???
Joe examines case, decides it's better than the one he has already,
pockets it with conspiratorial smile
STEPH, tearful, just wandering by:
&;#8230;Stab, stab, stab

1.15
CUSTOMER to Ruth:
have you got any sugar snaps?
JAMES hurrying by with crate of spring onions:
We have some delicious spring onions madam.
.

1.30
PETE, after lunch:
I'm so bored

1.45
Joe finds ?10 note on floor, pockets it
PETE:
I'm soooo boooored

2.00
JAMES to Ruth:
Spread the flowers out so it looks fuller

2.15
Joe reluctantly realises that no one will buy the one earring. He lives
with his landlady, and contemplates becoming gay himself so as not to
waste the earring, but decides the piercing would be too painful
A CUSTOMER to Ruth, who is putting one bunch per bucket:
could you be a love and see if you have any nice big bouquets out the
back?
RUTH to customer: I'm sorry, we have no more flowers, would you like
spring onions instead?

2.30
PETE, poking holes in floral bags with his biro with intense look of
concentration:
an hour and a half, can I make it?
Joe's eyes light up when he finds a Lloyds credit card on floor, then
dull again when he turns it over and finds it has been signed.
Enthusiastic TANNOY ANNOUNCEMENT:
We would like to draw your attention to a fabulous offer on our produce
department, spring onions now only 10 pence per bunch

2.45
Joe finds posh parker pen on floor
A CUSTOMER to Ruth:
Have you got any Fennel?
Ruth nearly hugs customer
Joe begins practicing signature from Lloyds card on empty cardboard
boxes on Ruth's trolley

3.00
wildly enthusiastic TANNOY ANNOUNCEMENT:
we would like to draw your attention to a brilliant offer in our
produce department, spring onions now only 5 pence a bunch
JAMES to another student shelf stacker (BEN):
Ben, go and tidy up out back!

3.15
another shelf stacker (PAUL) leaning on door:
How am I going to sort the chiller in three quarters of an hour?
Ben is leaning on broom, smiling seraphically

3.30
Paul, leaning on door:
I'll never sort the chiller in quarter of an hour
Ben is leaning on broom smiling seraphically

3.45
Ben has separated a very small part of the general detritus into a pile
and is looking like a rancher who has just lassoed a troublesome steer.
Paul is staring at the pile, ponderingly
PAUL:
Do you need a bag?
Ruth gets handset to do floral availability check. Most recent
availability check sheet available is for stuff for Mothering Sunday,
which has efficiently been discontinued as it is now May

Just before 4.00
By clocking in/out machine Ben, Pete and Paul are reading staff
motivational posters while waiting for it to be four o'clock.
4.00
BEN, PETE, PAUL:
YESS
The salad bar is nearing perfect (Steph finishes at five and is saving
washing the knives till last) the chiller is sorted, the floor is
clean

4.05
JAMES holding out bunches of wilted spring onions while smiling
desperately at passing customers:
Go on Madam, you know you want one