City Talk

City Talk

By Paul Diamond

Why how awfully nice to see you my dear fellow!
We haven't met since - now when can it be?
It must have been that full committee meeting of INCOFINCO back in
ninety three,
Oh at least as long as that so it's time we had a chat. D'you
agree?

But did you hear the latest on this morning's city news?
It seems the institutions who own Burton Special Brews
Have approved a future merger with Hatton's Fashion Shoes
Which was formed as a subsidiary of Kentish Snooker Cues
Who have made a bid to take over Cohen's Tartan Trews
After buying up the remnants of Capper's Portaloos
The remainder of the buy out of Greenwell Smokeless Flues
When receivers had to go in to Caldwell Chewy Chews.

So that's Burton Special Hatton's Fashion Kentish Snooker Cohen's
Tartan Capper's Porta Greenwell Smokeless Caldwell Chewy Brews Shoes
Cues Trews Loos Flues Chews!

What a letter heading!

Of course my future's looking less than cheerful
We've made some rearrangements on our board.
The judge gave our last Chief Exec an earful
And now he's doing seven years at Ford.
But he 'phones in twice a day so we're still all A-OK
Thank the Lord.

He finished up investigated by the D. of Trade
For boosting our share prices with the sweeteners he paid.
Eventually the Fraud Squad conducted a dawn raid
Taking all the records of arrangements that he made
With some other business colleagues who he'd managed to persuade
To support our bid to buy up almost everything that's made.
It looked alright at first but then his hand was overplayed
He trusted people far too much and so he was betrayed.
Oh here's the court.
So now I'll have to leave you I'm afraid.
With any luck we'll meet again at the end of the decade.

Cheerio!