I Have Let Myself Get Too Lonely...Again

No need to worry or offer advice.  I have processed and shed the tears until I laughed out loud. I know that it is key to notice, and occasionally type the human condition out loud.  That’s good mental health. 

I used to have not so good mental health so I know whereof I type.  The main problem is you don’t know it at the time.  You’re kind of submerged under it, like Nimue waiting in the cave but Merlin didn’t show up.  Five Rhythms dancing helped me.  I was surprised to say the least.  I have thought about why dancing helped, and it’s because there are no words.  I couldn’t figure it out, intellectualise or rant.  There are just five rhythms, you move your feet and abracadabra, all the emotion held in your body comes shaking and twirling out.  Shaking is shamanic.  It’s your old life shaking off.  True.

I am of the opinion, and it’s a boomer opinion so take this as a trigger warning; if you can talk about ‘my mental health’, then there is nothing wrong with your mental health.  When others suggest it might be time to ‘speak to someone’, and you roll your eyes in the fashion of one who is surrounded by idiots, that’s when it’s time to start paying attention. 

I know I have let myself get too lonely when I start shopping, mostly for beautiful things.  Today I bought some flower seeds from Kew Gardens because the packet art is gloriously Gothic and magical; all plants and moons.  (Google at your own risk, they are irresistible.)

For loneliness and spending, what is required is a project.  Using mastery of self and art supplies; I shall add to the beauty of the world instead of buying stuff*.  This I pledge, starting from now.

*Disclaimer: This may or may not include books.

P.S. It is a truth universally acknowledged that disclaimers and PSs don’t count in word counts.