Journal 14th Sept

14th Sep

Pouring and freezing. Am working from home with the fire and candles on. Reiki music plinking in the background. Am so lucky.
When I'm not freaking out.
And my new painting is fabulously at home, garden goddess flying above me.

Bought organic veggies from Newton Dee. The smell of pumpkin and yam roasting in the oven so sweet. Made soup with the puree plus chestnuts. Welcome the Autumn properly. It's a recipe from 'Recipes for Self Healing'. A nutritional book based on Chinese medicine. Pumpkin and chestnut soup increases your chi and your yang apparently.
Can't hurt.

I leave for 5 rhythms and Qigong feeling very new agey indeed, in an Oriental sort of fashion.
Autumnal smell of wood smoke as I go outside. Findhorn in my head. Everything reminding me of it. Pumpkins to wood smoke.
I can't bear it some days.

That's when a gal needs 5 rhythms.
On the unbearable days.
Dance it out.
Like an American Indian warrior, circling the bonfire, reeling and spinning, building the chi, drawing it scattering it, not letting it catch you, like a human Catherine wheel of energy.
On with the beat.
Count me in.

The music is fabulous, he plays a lot in chaos and in the spin of it, Kali came to me. My heart full of beat, my body full of rhythm, my feet on air, my head full of words - and I know I'm going to forget them by the time I get home, but it doesn't matter. In this spiritual practice as I sweat my prayers, my head is full of hymns tonight.
My hymn.

Wherever he is.

Bring it on.
Fear - welcome, come right on in
Dance with me.
You keep me smart
You keep me awake.
Pull up a dragon why don't you.
I could do with one to slay
Being a warrior and all.

Fibroid, welcome.
Wish you had a more poetic name.
Will call you 'flower'.
As much part of me as my eyes or my nose or my monkey mind
Which I also love, at it's simeon best.
Stops me being content to eat ready meals and have Corrie as my only conversation.
As if it was real.

Welcome flower.
Enjoy being me while it lasts.
Coz you won't get to be this fabulous again.

Symbol of my past blocks.
All to be taken away.
One November morning.

In the peak of the dance I'm in bliss, I'm so happy I could fly, the spirit is so in me and all around me so I ask Her, 'Go on. Send me a tactile caring man who'll love me for me, who I'll love for him. Go on.'

There is nothing like 5 rhythms. Even sex.
No really.
Nothing like it.

"I feel better than James Brown Was Not Was

Ask loud and be clear,
She is always listening;
He is on his way