The Shampoo Haiku

In order to save the planet, certain shampoo manufacturers have started packaging in hard bottles.  I don’t know the composition exactly, half bamboo, half concrete perhaps.  The point being that post-menopausal thumbs can’t squeeze them.  Often, both shampoo and conditioner bottles are in the same beige non-colour.  The trendy print is so super-small, and in beige font, it’s impossible to read which is which.  (You can’t wear your specs in the shower.  Well, it happens, but not on purpose). 

Obviously, if you don’t use the shampoo first and then the conditioner, the shampoo police will be at your front door, all shouty.  A real pest when you are in the middle of a nice hot shower.  So, one must come up with new, preferably rhyming, aide memoires such as, ‘blue for shampoo’.  (But only if the lid or bottle happens to be blue, otherwise that won’t help much).  Then by a process of elimination, the other bottle must be the conditioner whatever the colour of its lid.  I believe it was Conan Doyle who first posited this methodology.  It’s called the Sherlock Holmes method for silky hair.  Patent pending.  Which is which by process of short-sighted deduction.  Elementary my dear Watson.  Now kindly get out of my shower, I’m busy. 

Putting the bottles in order of use, ‘Pink nearest the sink’, is a riskier approach, requiring mastery of self.  One must not only remember what is in the pink bottle in the first place, but also to always place it nearest the sink. 

Thank the Lord that the ‘Faith in Nature’ brand bottles are transparent and easily squeezable.  The shampoo is always clear, faintly coloured but essentially clear, and the conditioner is opaque.  That is deserving of a haiku. 

Ah, Clear is shampoo,

Opaque is conditioner.

Thanks, Faith in Nature

I apologise unreservedly to the Japanese nation for taking the piss.