B: Sunday June 23rd 2002

Arg.. I discovered someone else on the site is called mr e, so I
changed me username again. I think perhaps I am becoming like a
chameleon, who keeps shedding old skins, and growing into new
ones.

I have got into a terrible habit of juggling books at the moment. I
started reading "Riverun" by S.P Somtow this week; but then today I
decided to start reading: "The Box Of Delights" by John Masefield. I
have also been reading 'Finnegan's Wake' by James Joyce for quite some
time now, but have only got to page 70. I should try to settle with one
of them really, and see it through till the end; but I'am not sure
which one yet. I have a lot of books, but half of the books I've got, I
haven't read yet. I am always stopping by second hand bookstores and
buying new ones. I still have books I bought over a year ago, sitting
on my shelf waiting to be read.

I managed to finish writing a story last night, and felt those feelings
of euphoria you get afterwards. I like that feeling. I have decided to
take Andrea's advice and leave the story in my deskdrawer for a few
days before posting it. That way it'll be easier to spot mistakes I've
made, and polish and tighten it up better. Sometimes you need to take a
break from the piece and do something else. It's hard to polish
straight after writing something I find. I am learning patience now,
and not to be so hasty when it comes to posting. After a few days, I
definately spot things I couldn't spot before, and feel thankful I
didn't upload my story so quickly.

It turned out to be a right wierd story in the end. I seem to be
gravitating towards writing wierd horror at the moment. I hadn't
planned on it ending the way it did, it just seemed to take over at
some point, and took me where it wanted to go. It's like the story is
being told in my writing style, but some kind of force takes over, and
uses my style of writing to describe the tale. I'am not sure I can take
100\\% credit for the stories I write. It's me alright, my writing
style without a doubt; but the ideas, characters and the scenes, I
don't know where they come from. They seem to have their own pulse, but
can't do much on their own and need to find a willing volunteer to
paint them with words. That's probably a load of romantic Barry White
actually, I'am always coming out with stuff like this, my heads in the
clouds man.

I ended up cutting the story off earlier than I intended to, I did this
to keep it short. I hate doing that, but when you're posting something
on the internet, you have to keep the word count down. I feel it's
important to do this, as reading from a screen is not the same as
reading from a book, it tires out the eyes. So I have to think about my
readers. I remember Andrew Pack saying something in the forums which
was good sound advice: "When's the latest you can arrive, and the
earliest you can leave." Each time I go to polish a story I think about
that bit of advice, and it helps.

It seems stories don't come to me that often these days, they seem to
come at unexpected moments. I am struggling to think up ideas again
today; but I think I'am beginning to understand the cycle a bit better
and don't fight it anymore. After writing a story, instead of fretting,
trieing to come up with more ideas; I just read as much as I can, and
get into writing different things - like this diary for instance. That
way I keep my writing muscle flexed and in shape. I know more ideas for
stories will come in time, even though I don't feel like they will.
They will..

Haven't done much reading on abctales today as the site's been down for
most of it. I realise when the site's down just how much time I
actually spend on it; because I find I miss it when I can't log
on.

D tells me that they're making a movie based on the playstation game
"Silent Hill." I hope they do a good job of it. They should get David
Lynch to direct it, as the game has a Twin Peaks feel in places. It is
a very wierd game, a dark artistic twisted kind of terror. It will be a
scary film if they get it right. I just hope they don't make it into a
cheesy Hollywood blockbuster. That would do my head in. Sadly, from
what I've seen so far, when games are made into films, they tend to
become this. Except Final Fantasy, which I thought was a good
movie.

Ah well there isn't much else to tell, that's about it from my part of
the world.. so

.. over and out.