Not allowed to feel

I can't do this anymore.
It's been a year, I know the score.
I like him, he don't like me...
how dare I think we could be.

I'm not special in your eyes,
so stop telling me these fucking lies!!!
I thought we were friends?
I thought I was special,
I thought you could tell me things
that you wouldn't tell another.

Well screw you,
go fuck yourself...
I'm tired of being left on the shelf.
I'm not ugly
I'm not rude
I don't bore people with inteligent convestaion
I just...oh fuck it,
what's the point? I can't be
what you want me to be.
I can't be pure,
I can't be happy every second.
I don't open up to everyone.

I want you to like me,
but if you don't like me thats fine...
just don't tell me I'm "special"
don't tell me that I know what others don't
just treat me as you would a brief aquantance.
because it's all that I can now withstand.
for I feel for you, against my will.
but there's nothing I can do,
for love plays a game at its own will.
Just leave me as a stranger to die in the pain.