APPU

I sat dazed with the lifeless body of Appu on my lap.
Although everything was over I could not let go of his
body. The love Appu taught me, the affection he drew
from me the friendship that existed between us will
remain as long as I live. I felt his white coat. His
two black mischievous eyes would never look at me. I
was crying inconsolably, but Appu was not there to
lick my tears away. I was left alone , no one to turn
to at this hour of grief. I remembered the day Ritu
aunty presented me with a cute little white German
Spits puppy . I picked him up and he licked my nose
with his soft pink tongue. It was love at first sight.
My barren life was full with love for the helpless
little puppy, I called Appu. My life changed from the
very day. I was a late riser, but not after Appu came
to my life. Early in the morning he would wake me up,
licking my palm and would put his wet nose on my ear.
The moment I opened my eyes I would find him sitting
upright beside me, looking at me with intense
eagerness. I could not disappoint him and would take
him out for a walk which he enjoyed enormously.
Gradually it became a habit with me too. Though I
prepared his meal as directed by the vet, his meals
would never be complete without tit-bits from my lunch
and dinner. I spoiled him thoroughly. I would wash
him,. I would wash him, cuddle him, brush his coat,
play with him in short he was everything to me, a
middle aged spinster, with indifferent looks and with
a reputation of having a bad temper, devoid of
affection, an eccentric whom people generally avoided
and made fun of at the back. Appu did not judge me, he
gave his love unconditionally, that a dog can only do.
After Appu came to my life, I never felt lonely. Appu
was also a very good watch dog. He would run around
the house driving away any body he thought was an
intruder. He would not even spare the crows. He grew
up to be a most mischievous and naughty dog pampered
beyond imagination. But I did not have the heart to
punish him for his misdeeds, which were much too
often, but for once. My landlord , Mr Bose, used to
come on a fixed date every month to collect the rent
and some how I did not like him at all. Endowed with a
keen sense of observation that comes naturally to a
dog, Appu could guess my feelings and could not
tolerate my land lord and I had to put him on leash
every month he came. One month I forgot to chain him
and the moment Mr Bose stepped inside Appu started
growling,. My landlord got scared and backed out
quickly and that was his undoing. Appu went after him
and made him run for cover with his heart in his
mouth. Passers by look looked at him with suspicion as
they saw him running out of my house, his belly
sticking out, with a dog at his heels. The incident
took only two to three minutes and by that time I took
control of the situation and rebuked Appu sternly and
held him back by his collar. Once safely out of our
gate and Appu under my control, Mr Bose shouted from
the street "madam, this is too much. Why do you keep a
dog if you cannot control him. Either you train your
dog or vacate my house. He stood there fuming with
rage. People witnessing the little scene got a free
entertainment. I got so angry, I did what I had never
done before. I beat Appu mercilessly with his own
leash. But Appu took the beating lying down. I sat
down on the floor, throwing away the leash and
weeping. Two year old Appu was allover me, licking and
sniffing me, disturbed to see me cry. I took his soft
worm body to my bosom and asked for forgiveness,
hating myself. I never beat him after that. Thus
through good and bad two of us lived. Before meeting
Appu I never knew that such friendship, bond and
affection could exist between a human being a canine.
I saw Appu grew up into a handsome dog. But time flew
and only in eleven years the little puppy grew old.
For the last few months Appu was not keeping well,
skipping meals. I called the vet and he said Appu was
dying. He had a cancerous grown in his tummy and it
was in an advanced stage. The said point that he was
suffering like hell. He was deteriorating fast and it
was quite evident that he was in great pain. He would
wag his tail gently and try to lift his head when I
called him by name. The doctor advised me to put him
to sleep. There was no point in keeping him alive for
a few more months and let him suffer. After a few
sleepless nights and after watching helplessly how
Appur suffered I called the vet. I took Appu on my
lap. When the doctor pushed in injection Appu looked
at me for the last time. I knew for certain he
realized that we were parting. After the vet left I
sat with his body on my lap. My mind went back to
nearly fifty years. I was only five and we went to
visit my grandfather. He lived alone with his dog,
Peter. Peter was my grandfather's pet, just as Appu
was mine. Peter would let me cuddle him and play with
his ball. I do not know how old was he but he appeared
quite big to me. For some days I heard Peter was sick.
He stopped taking meals and would remain hidden under
the bed all the time. Grandfather brought the vet and
after he was gone I was not allowed to go near Peter.
I heard he had a disease, which sounded like rabbit to
me (of course now I know). The next day I woke up
early, it was nearly down. From my bedroom window I
saw Peter was sitting chained at the back yard.
Grandfather stood before him with his hunting rifle.
Peter was looking at grandfather, it seemed to me,
with a strange appeal in his eyes and in a moment the
rifle went off, the bullet hitting Peter in the middle
of his forehead. I was shocked and horrified, so much
so, I never asked anybody about Peter or the incident.
From that day onwards I looked at my grandfather as a
murder and hated him and I refused to visit him even
when he was in his deathbed.

With Appu's lifeless body on my lap, I cried for
forgiveness of my grandfather. How he must have
suffered to pull the trigger on Peter. It took fifty
years for me to learn the truth. You could never know
the agony and the ecstasy of keeping a pet unless you
actually have one.

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