I Wish I Had Time To Write, Like You Do...

They tell me they don't have time to write. They wish they could,
but they can't find time. They're stay-at-home Moms, like me, and they
don't have ANY time to write. What?

They have time for nail appointments, time for make-over parties, time
for television, time for anything they want, but they don't have time
for writing ~ but they wish they did? I suppose it's like going to
church; lots of people would like to, but they don't have time, or any
situation will present itself to make it easy to keep them from going.
You really have to MAKE the time.

How does one make time? Can we add an hour to our day? No. Do we have
to stop doing other things to replace that time with writing?
Sometimes, maybe. But mostly, no. Who will watch the kids while you do
it? You will. My PC is in the dining room, so I can't shut myself away
from the rest of the world to work. I long for an office, or even a
spare room to set up MY space, but right now we just can't accommodate
that, so I have to find creative ways to make time in the center of
household activity.

I read a Dear Abby letter once, where a woman wrote a poem about making
time for her family. I can't remember all of the poem and I wish I
could, but there were two lines in it that changed my life. They were
these: "And, what really matters more? A happy child, or a shiny
floor?" It's the same with anything that makes you happy, whether it's
writing, spending time playing with your children, or just spending
time.

It's all in how you go about it, and sometimes you have to cheat, or
even lie a little. I have dishes and laundry to do, and by my
mother-in-law's standards, I'm wasting time by writing and not doing
it. But, do I feel guilty? Not any more. I'll do the dishes later and
write in between loads of laundry; I have 55 minutes between loads, and
that doesn't include the five minutes it takes to fold it. As for
putting it away, let the folded clothes pile up and put them all away
at once. If you fold them on your bed, unexpected company won't see it.
As for those dishes, I hold out an hour before my husband comes home
that I'll use to do that and pick up the big hunks left around the
house.

When the kids are running in and out, all wanting this and that (and
most of it they could do or find themselves), I get out the dish towel
and ask, to nobody in particular, "Who will dry and put away the dishes
for me?" You could use mowing the lawn, or cleaning out the fridge; any
time-consuming chore you can think of. You'll find they all have
something important to do, even if there are no dishes in the sink.
That only works with bigger children, though.

For smaller kids, I put them in the tub and it buys me an hour and the
tub gets clean, or there's another trick that works every time, even
with wee ones that you can't leave alone in the tub. If they're big
enough to walk, give them a spray bottle filled with plain water; no
cleaners or chemicals of any kind, just plain water. Then give them a
sponge, and show them all the things they can't wash with water, like
wood furniture or the cat. Then, let them go! They'll wash walls, the
fridge, the floor; anything they can spray. A spray bottle makes
cleaning fun, and it not only gets the fingerprints off the stove, but
it buys you time. It gives you about an hour before they start spraying
each other and telling on each other for spraying the cat, but hey ~
it's a whole hour! Time enough to start a rough draft.

Another suggestion is to let the young 'uns wash all the plastic and
non-sharp dishes. Wearing an apron is fun, too. They love to wash
dishes before it becomes their chore, and it buys good time for you.
They usually end up playing with the dishes and soapy water more than
they wash, but they have a great time! Put a chair up to the sink and
let them have fun! The mess is only water, and a quick round with a
towel will clean up whatever they do. As for the plastic dishes, you'll
likely have to re-wash them, but then you had to wash them in the first
place.

Give bigger kids $5 and tell them they can go to the store, but don't
buy ANY candy. It'll take them plenty of time to decide just what to
spend their money on, and chances are they'll play with or use whatever
they've bought, buying you even more time.

The husband? Ask him to fix something; he'll either bolt for another
room, or actually fix whatever it is, giving you more time. What's that
you say, you'll have to break something to pull this one off? Worse
things have been done! Once when my husband was bored, I actually
resorted to telling him that his car was making a funny noise when I
drove it (it wasn't). He immediately went out to his car and when he
came in, I asked if he'd figured out what the noise was. He said no,
but since he was out there anyway, he changed the oil and gave it a
tune-up. It bought me two hours! Once I mentioned that one of the kids
had thrown up in the back seat (he had, but I'd cleaned it up already),
and my husband was so disgusted at the thought, that he went out there
with the 409 and completely washed down the inside of the car, even
though he'd found no mess. You know your spouse's quirks and habits;
you can think of something. Once I asked him to frost my hair for me,
and he had all kinds of things that needed his attention,
suddenly.

I've unplugged my irritating telephone ringer, too. Leave the message
machine on, and if you have to, force yourself to only answer urgent or
important ones. What if you really weren't home? The callers would have
to wait anyway.

I've also left a note on my door, before. I have a neighbor who seems
to have a knack for showing up just when I've started a project I had
to make time for. It's like she has writing radar or something, and
knows just when to come over. I like her, but sometimes it's the only
time I have, and even when I tell her I'm working she says, "Don't let
me bother you, I'll just sit right over here," and then she asks me
questions or tells me about her day anyway. The note works, but, the
note is only truly effective, if you lock the door, too.

You can always plan ahead. Not for every day, but for those times when
you want uninterrupted hours in a row, you might have to resort to
this. I've told my family that this Saturday is my work day (workin'
weekend, I call it), and anyone who's still home when I start, will be
working. Give times and enough advance notice to let them make plans,
and then give rides or take them to Grandma's; do whatever you have to
do to make this plan work. If someone can't find anything to do, give
them something to do, and warn them about interrupting you. It's not
really a punishment for not making plans, it's good for them. There's
nothing wrong with asking a family member to help you do something ~
you spend a lot of time helping them every day, and you could use a
little help around the house, right?

If the weekends and evenings are full and you have games and practices
to go to, dance rehearsals, etc., take your notebook and pen with you.
Scribble something you can type up later. If you have an older child,
you can even ask them to type it for you; you get writing done, and
they are now kept busy while you do other things.

There are all kinds of ways to make the time for writing, or for
whatever it is that's pulling at you. If I listed them all, this
article would be six feet long! Just be creative, like you do in your
writing. You'll find the time, if it's really something you want to do.
Even if you have to cheat and lie a little.