A Tale of Thunderbirds

Kyrano had not quite left the room with the empty tea tray when the
radio burst into life, Jeff stepped over to the receiver;

"Father, this is TB5 are you receiving me? over" John sounded like he
was in the room next door rather than 3,000 miles above earth.

"TB5 this is base, receiving you loud and clear John, what have you
got?"

"Base, you forgot to say over, over"

"John, don't teach your father to suck eggs, get on with
it???.OVER"

"Father, I've just intercepted a signal from Radio Afghan , I'm
downloading the signal now so you can hear it for yourself,
over".

Jeff switched to the second screen and saw the file download had
finished, he clicked the icon, the recording was not great but there
was enough to work on for now;

" ?.attacks?? ?..infidels?.. distant explosions>?Osama, where are you going??.. explosions>?..calling International Rescue?? in the name of Allah,
help us."

"John, it sounds like this is a job for International Rescue, keep
monitoring the channel and maintain a star-fix geo-stationary orbit
over Kabul until further notice."

"F.A.B father, over and out"
"John"

"Yes father, over"

"Is that MTV I hear in the background"

"Errrrrrrrr, over"
"John"

"Yes father, sorry the signal is cracking
up??sshhhhhchchchchrrrzzzwww?..hello, hello"

"?.never mind"

Jeff made a mental note to review the amount of time his sons were
spending on the space station alone and then called Scott's
mobile;

"Hi father, what's up?"

"Scott, where are you?"

"About half way up the North face of the Eiger without ropes and
holding this mobile with one hand, why do you ask?"

"Someone needs our help Scott, get back to base immediately"

"On my way father"

Virgil was the next call;

"Hello father"

"Virgil, where are you?"

"In the library, translating the entire works of Shakespeare into a
ancient Hindu dialect used by a small tribe of ..?.."

"Virgil"

"Yes father"

"Shut up and get in here now"
"Ok father"

Scott and Virgil 'wobbled' into Jeff's office in the way only string
puppets can.

"So father, what's happening?"

Jeff played the recording.

"Hmmmmmm, seems like we have a mission at last"

Scott was gone before anyone could blink a wooden eye. Shot up the tube
like a ferret up an undefended trouser leg, he'd got TB1 fired up,
launched and was roaring towards Afghanistan at 15,000mph.

Jeff turned back to face his sons;

"Virgil, where's Scott?

"Afghanistan, father"

"I must talk to that boy. What about Alan?"

"Last I saw he was trying to make fire the old fashioned way"

"You mean?"

"Yes father, the smoke detectors are guaranteed to go off whenever
Tin-Tin visits Alan's room. Kyrano is so worried about his daughter's
combustible activities, he's taken to following them around with a fire
extinguisher"

"and Gordon"

"Swimming. Along the surface, as usual"

"Of course. Oh well, load up the mole, TB4 and a few other handy
gadgets, take Gordon with you and tell Alan to put Tin-Tin down and get
TB3 into space, pronto!"

"F.A.B father!"

Jeff needed some help, he called Brains.

"Brains, it's Jeff"

"Er, hello Jeff, er, something wrong, er."

"Trouble in Afghanistan, Brains"

"Er, Afghanistan?, er, Jeff"

"Yes, AFGHANISTAN, it's a hilly place next door to Pakistan"

"Er, Pakistan?, er, Jeff, er"

"Brains, what is the square root of 159,437?"

"Er, 399.2956289, er, er"

"..and I suppose you think that's going to help us do you?"

"Er, er, er, er,"

"Bugger off Brains!"

"Er"

He got back on the radio;

"Scott, what's happening out there"

"Well father, I'm parked on a mountain ledge with a great view of
Kabul. There's a lot of fireworks going off right now and using the
infra red spectrometer I can see land troops ready for action on the
other side of the hill. Trouble is I can't get enough detail as a herd
of mountain goats is blocking the view"

"Herd of mountain goats?"

"Yes, I have heard of mountain goats father and they're all over the
bloody place, crapping on my landing gear at the moment in fact! I only
put TB1 through the car wash yesterday!"

"Scott"

"Yes father"

"Get a grip!"

"F.A.B father"

"Virgil"

"Yes father"

"Where are you?"

"Well father, technically speaking I'm still on Tracy Island"

"What!!!"

"Yes father, hydraulic problems with the take off ramp. I'm working on
it but it's going to take some time"

"Hell! We need to know what's going on out there. You're stuck on the
island, the other two are in space and Scott's view is blocked by a
herd of goats"

"Herd of goats?"

"Virgil, just get the ramp working"

"F.A.B father"

"No it's not sodding F.A.B Virgil!"

Jeff decided to call the only person he could rely upon to get
something done.

"Lady Penelope speaking"

"Hi Penny, it's Jeff, thank God I caught you at home, how are things in
the UK?"

"Smashing Jeff, just marvelous. Parker caught a very bad cold whilst
escaping from a tiny safe breaking job I gave him recently but apart
from that everything is just tickety boo"

"Great. Listen Penny, we intercepted a message from radio Afghan, they
are calling for International Rescue. Sadly, we seem to be having, err,
a few technical problems at the moment and I wondered if you could help
us out?"

"Of course Jeff, it would be our pleasure, what can we do"

"Well, Penny, right now my main problem is a herd of mountain
goats"

"Herd of mountain goats?"

"Yes Penny, on a hill in Afghanistan blocking TB1's view of the
action"

"Do you have a grid reference?"

"Yes, it's 123E 75N"

"OK Jeff, Parker and I are on our way!"

"Thanks Penny, I knew we could count on you"

FAB1 flew out of the garage like a scalded flamingo, pointing East. It
reached the Afghan hillside a few minutes later. Lady Penelope lowered
the window and using the binoculars scoured the hillside looking for
the problematic goats. She found them easily, about 30 or so happily
munching the only patch of mountain grass for miles around.

"Parker, you see that herd of goats over there, just beyond the purple
coloured rock. Would you be so kind as to pop out and disperse
them
for me?"

"You mean????.unherd?, me'Lody"