Whole
By andrew-evans
Mon, 28 Dec 2009
- 963 reads
4 comments
They took away
my money,
and i told them
i'm still whole,
they took away
my house,
and i told them
i'm still whole,
then they took away
my pride,
but i told them
i'm still whole,
so they took away
my dignity,
but still i'm whole,
then they took you away,
and i was whole no more
for your my everything,
my passion and soul
and without you
I can never truly be
whole
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Comments
Its good, but I saw one
Permalink Submitted by Airenia Moon on
Its good, but I saw one thing. At the end you say, "then they took you away, and i was whole no more for your my everything, my passion and soul and with you I can never truely be whole" If I'm reading this right, you're saying when they took "you" away, you weren't whole, but you can never be whole with "you" anyways. Unless I'm reading it wrong, thats a tad confusing.
Good job other than that though!
Airenia Moon
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Good. Sounds great! Keep up
Permalink Submitted by Airenia Moon on
Good. Sounds great! Keep up the good work!
Airenia Moon
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