Soul Mates?

Soul Mates?


They met for the first time while they were waiting for a
bus. It wasn't a coincidence that they were there at the same time but
they hadn't met before, as their paths simply had not crossed. The bus
was to take them and the rest of their group on a trip organised for
their teenage children as part of a club outing, 4 days in hot foreign
parts, via Heathrow, they were part of the small team of parent
supporters.


The events for the teenagers, though they dominated the
schedule, somehow became secondary for him as they could of course, and
wanted mainly, to be free of parents and they could most of the time,
look after themselves. He realised that he found himself engineering
reasons to spend time with her, though he was careful not to appear
over keen in case he pestered her. This was perhaps a fine balancing
act, but with the mixture of relaxed events and yet sometimes hectic
scheduling, all seemed to work well. He hoped though that he didn't
offend her by appearing uninterested or unfriendly at the wrong time,
he was not a great tactician in the art of relationships. They both
accompanied the group, talking and laughing about many things and
joining in and helping out. They visited some fascinating places,
enjoying real experiences and formed great memories in a very short
period of time.


They had a great many things in common, their children were
the same age, they had both been married the same length of time,
within just a couple of months, but apart from these facts, they shared
the same sense of humour and interests in many things.


They were both happily married in fact, and to have overtly
displayed his enthralment in this marvellous and attractive lady might
not have only come across as disrespectful and annoying to her, it may
also have given the wrong impressions. No doubt, he thought, she was
always fending off advances and admirers and he didn't want to appear
to be just after "one thing" and overstep the mark and he also had
responsibilities to his loved ones of course. He was certainly
attracted to her, based on admiration, and though there were
opportunities when they could have got to know each other extremely
well, it just didn't happen, it wouldn't have been right. In 16 years
he hadn't as much as kissed another woman, other than his wife, not
that he had come across many opportunities in the past and not had to
exactly fend off advances but in the special circumstances they found
themselves in it would have been easy for him to make moves and make
"suggestions", but as a highly capable person her undoubted rejection
and shock that would have inevitably followed would have left him
feeling foolish and regretful.


He had always tried to live with the ethos of "seizing the
moment" believing that spontaneity avoided regrets and disappointments
and yet because it wasn't right, because it would have ruined things,
he didn't press or pursue, he was rather slow that way, combined with
being rather awkward about such matters. However it would later cross
his mind more than once, as to what would have been wrong with two
responsible adults enjoying each other, he was only human after all.
Surely commitment wouldn't have been necessary; surely it was just
about pleasure and about enjoying the relatively carefree and unique
situation they found themselves together in. But then again what
consequences would have followed? Well, would they have remained
friends?


However with clear consciences, they kept in touch after the
trip, they had got on very well and they did indeed become even better
friends and their families became good friends too. He knowingly and
actively encouraged all this, continually enjoying her good spirits,
high energy, lively personality, gregariousness and fun, she was not a
timid shy type and would capably tackle challenging situations with
enthusiasm. They all spent weekends away camping in groups with other
families, sharing events, parties and the inevitable passing of their
children's childhoods.


Her friendship was very important to him, as she had proved
to be a person of great warmth, humour, generosity and sincerity and as
he genuinely enjoyed being with her, a fact emerged that would astound
him. During a conversation she mentioned that she had an ancestor that
had worked in a certain famous place at a certain time, coincidentally,
so had he. The chances that these ancestors knew each other were high
and the improbability of this and the fact that 200 years ago their
ancestors couldn't possibly have imagined that their descendants would
know each other would dwell on his mind. It seemed to him obvious that
they were supposed to know each other.


From very early on, one thing had become very clear to him,
he knew he was fascinated and intrigued by this special woman. She was,
all at the same time, lively, fun, spiritual, intelligent and
beautiful, sincere, adventurous, straightforward and fascinating; he
could have a serious conversation with her and be entertained and
challenged by her high intellect and her humour, her sharpness, her
pleasure and delight, her smile, her laughter and her enjoyment in
life, there was no "edge" with her, no points scoring, he could relax
with her and he believed he had found a friend for the big journey. And
yet, they never discussed their friendship and so he was never able to
properly pay her the compliments he wanted to.


He certainly continued to enjoy her company and yet he was
happy for them to be "just good friends", he didnt know whether this
was what she wanted, but he certainly did not want to put her spirit in
any state of stress. He didn't want to change or spoil anything now for
her, he considered that she had a great life, and yet he couldn't
ignore his great respect and admiration for her. But circumstances were
never just right to discuss and anyway he couldn't really have
explained everything he wanted to in a conversation, he wanted her to
know what he thought of her and how thankful and delighted he was that
he could call her a friend.


And so all he could now decide was that he wanted simply to
state how he asked nothing of her and at the same time provide some
kind of an explanation of his point of view. He knew that fate had
twists and following a very close encounter with a car that had
recently spun suddenly on a country lane in front of him he realised
that unless he tried to explain she may never know his thoughts.



Hopefully she wouldn't consider him revealing these thoughts
as weird or unusual in any way. He hoped and yet was sure that it
wouldn't threaten their friendship as he knew he could trust her
completely with his previously unshared inner thinkings. If stating his
opinions made things clearer or made her happier in some way, perhaps
because she would understand him better, then that would be just great.



But he didn't really know what she thought and also he didn't
know what she would now think of what he wanted to say!


And so, for many reasons, he wrote it all
down!


Maybe she will let him know her thoughts.