Take My Hand

Trapped inside these four grey walls
listening to my breath as it rises and falls
I dont want to be here anymore
I'm tired of crawling along the floor.

Waking up to another lifeless day
wishing it would slowly fade away
and it's been a while since I cried
and theres years to go before i die

so i'm trapped inside this mind of mine
Pretending to everyone I'm completely fine
Everything is perfect, I'm strong and I'll survive
so why do I loathe being alive?

Why can't you just make it all stop?
Why can't i let these tears drop?
five long weeks since my last cutting spree
Why do I feel trapped when I should be so free?

I'm hopelessly in love, and he loves me back
So why do I envy the joy that I lack?
Why can't i be happy, things are going well,
What reason do I have for this perpetual hell?

I'm no longer strong, I'm tired and weak
Theres so many words that I long to speak
I long to tell you why I feel so bad
I long to tell you what makes me so sad

But you see, I really don't know
What it is that makes me so low
I dont know why I'm trapped in my head
I don't know why I fear going to bed

I know that many have more shit than me
I know I have no excuse, but you see
I can't just shut these feelings away
as much as I'd love to be happy for a day.

Lee, I love you- I know that much is true
And I doubt I'd be here if it wasnt for you
When I want to give up, you give me the fight
When I'm alone in my bed, you help me through the night

When I'm with you, this hell disappears
for once my smile is as true as it appears
Don't think that I'm not happy with us
I'm sorry that I cause you such a fuss.

So, with beating heart-I turn around
Try to hide this perpetual frown
I'll make it through this fight you'll see
And I'll do it for you, but more so for me

For I don't want to live like this
With happiness coming only in a kiss
Your love is something worth fighting for
Take my hand honey, and hold me some more.