X-cess Baggage

"A woman needs a man, like a fish needs a bike"
is a famous old feminist mantra
but many a true word is spoken in jest -
it is not just hysterical banter!

Why DO we need men? I'd have to think hard -
not to change plugs, or fix the car.
We're perfectly able to think for ourselves
and earn salaries my Dad finds bizarre!

Companionship? What's wrong with the girls?
They're always eager to catch up on news -
they don't bore the pants off you, don't ogle 'birds'
and (generally) don't puke on your shoes!

Sex? Sex is great, if you feel in the mood
but to be pestered continually is boring.
That's so they can boast of 'six times a night'
who cares? A good book doesn't roll over snoring!

Now, if you think you've found your mate for life
BEWARE! 'New Men' don't exist -
you'll be paying at least half of all bills
and doing housework, whilst he's getting pissed.