Rush

what will you do for a rush? what will you do for a minute of wind
of fire of water even but never of earth because you are flying? i
would do most anything to get me off the ground, to get me to the
sky.

i just came down from the sky. Thats not just a metaphor, although
metaphorically it works as well. i was in the sky. on a plane. and i
looked out the window twice. and after that, after i saw the skyline of
philadelphia disappear into color blur and cloud i realized i wanted to
be on the ground. i wanted to be on the cool dry earth and with the
hands of my friends reaching out to steady me, because i am forever
unsteady.

my best friend has this tree, and i love climbing it. but two days ago,
on the highest branch i had been to, i slid down on my way climbing off
it, and i have a huge rugburn (treeburn?) on my side. its always like
that.

everything i love smacks me in the face sometime. especially my
perilous ascent. it never works out. when i climbed the social ladder
the rings broke, and i spent half a year in the chess club. when i
climbed the educational ladder, usually the work was too hard so i
pretended not to be bothered and got not so great grade. i love my
parents and they moved me to england. just one more fall.

i think im falling more than flying, but heres the thing-

falling is the rush.