Pains

Tea-time

The pains start at about five. We've got to get up in an hour anyway to
go to the hospital. There's a trace of blood in H-J's urine. 'Well
done!' I exclaim. 'Congratulations!' Trying to make a joke. She closes
her eyes, goes within herself with each contraction. Disappears into
the mysterious world of pain management, that I will never comprehend.
A little moan and long puffs through her mouth are all I hear. Then she
returns to me with a smile. Outside, the day is dawning. The curtains
slowly crescendo into a deep orange. The sun is going to shine today.
Nice day to have a baby.

I go down to the kitchen, trying not to rush, trying to stay calm. It's
not a medical emergency, I tell myself, it's a natural condition. No
need to panic. I break into a run and skid along the smooth wooden
floor. I don't want to be away from her for too long. I switch on the
kettle to make a mug of apple tea. Hot sweet drink, that's what we were
told in NCT. Got to do this by the book.

When I return, she is kneeling beside the bed. I think she may be
praying. She is blowing softly, wiggling her pelvis. Without looking at
me, she hands up the white plastic Tens machine, which looks remarkably
like a Ladyshave. 'I think the batteries are gone,' she mutters. After
a few minutes of fiddling with wires, depressing buttons, wishing I had
paid more attention when we practised this scenario all those weeks
ago, I have got the thing working and applied four sticky patches the
shape of ice lollies to her back.

The apple tea is cold.