You Never Knew Me

Do you know me?
You think you do.
But you never did.

Do I know me?
I thought I did.
But I was wrong.

Just who am I?
Will you ever know?
No, you never will.

But, who am I?
This I should know.
It makes no sense.

I hid from you.
As I always have.
I may hide forever.

I hid from myself.
There is darkness here.
I can never leave.

You did not understand.
I was too different.
I made no sense.

I did not understand.
Never did I belong.
I never fit in.

You thought you saw.
Not what I was.
Only what I seemed.

I wanted to see.
Not as you saw.
That was not me.

You saw me struggle.
My mirth was false.
I was too distant.

I am struggling still.
Inside is a prision.
Here I am captive.

There where you are.
What is it like?
I have never known.

Here where I am.
This miserable place.
You shall never understand.