Hans and His Pockets

Hans Christian Andersen was in a state of terror. He had no money to pay for his schnapps and schnitzel, and Mr. Schmeckenpepper, the proprietor of the corner cafe, shot a wicked eye in his direction as Hans turned out empty pocket after empty pocket.

"What do you know, Mr. Schmeckenpepper," Hans said. "I have more pockets than I have things to put in them! Hey! Wouldn't that make a fine story! Why, I'll even write it for you, Mr. Schmeckenpepper! And one day your reward will be great, and we will look back on this embarrassment and have a tremendous laugh!"

"Let's see," Hans started, "once upon a time there was a boy who had many pockets, and one day his mother said to him, 'Hey, Fritz, what happened to all your pockets?' And Fritz said, 'Why, Mother, I gave them away to a poor person with no pockets, so that in the event he should gain some riches, he will have the proper receptacles in which to place them.' His mother was perplexed. 'So where do you keep all the money I give you?' she asked. 'Why, Mother,' Fritz said, 'I give it away to the poor person, for I no longer have any pockets.'

"Without hesitation his mother reached for the broom and chased the stupid boy out of the house . . . "

Mr. Schmeckenpepper turned purple from indignation and spicy sauerbraten.

Hans was made to spend the night in the pokey, where a large poor person stole all his pockets.