Aye aye captin

Once upon a time, there was an officer of the Royal Navy named
Captain Bravado who showed no fear when facing his enemies.

One day, while sailing the Seven Seas, his lookout spotted a pirate
ship approaching, and the crew became frantic.
Captain Bravado bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!"

The first mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, and while
wearing the brightly coloured shirt, the Captain led his crew into
battle and defeated the mighty pirates.

That evening, all the men sat around on deck recounting the triumph of
earlier. One of them asked the Captain, "Sir, why did you call for your
red shirt before battle?"
The Captain replied, "If I were to be wounded in the attack, the shirt
would not show my blood. Thus, you men would continue to fight,
unafraid."

All of the men sat and marvelled at the courage of such a manly man's
man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout
spotted not one, not two, but TEN pirate ships approaching.

The crew stared in worshipful silence at the Captain and waited for his
usual orders.

Captain Bravado gazed with steely eyes upon the vast armada arrayed
against his ship, and without fear, turned and
calmly shouted,

"Get me my brown pants."