Married In My Heart

Married In My Heart

No, I never married, not properly at any rate. I know that sounds funny
but I've always found it hard to explain. I often tell people that I've
been married in my heart because that's the way it's felt for the last
fifty years: ever since that day we all went to Blackpool: me, Alice,
Vic and Ron.
It was all Alice Bird's fault. Well named she was, proper flighty, not
like me, I wouldn't say boo to a goose in those days.
" Come on Nance," She kept saying, "what have you got to
lose&;#8230;it's only Blackpool."
It might as well have been Outer Mongolia as far as I was concerned;
I'd only been as far as the Co-op three streets away and then I felt
faint!
"Vic and Ron are going." She giggled, as if it would make a
difference.
"You just want me to take Vic away so that you can flirt with Ron," I
said. I mean, I didn't even like Vic (not that I'd ever spoken to
him&;#8230;or any other boy for that matter.) She wouldn't give up
though and eventually, to keep her quiet, I said I would go.
It was a beautiful blue morning, unusual for a Bank Holiday and even
more unusual for Manchester. By the time I met Alice outside the church
it was already warming up and I wished I hadn't put my mac on.
So did she: "Oh no Nance," she squawked, "you look like a sack of
potatoes in that thing."
"I think it's very nice," said a voice from behind and when I turned
round I nearly died. It was Vic and he was staring me up and down with
a big smile on his face.
" Can I help you on?" he said as he took my arm and lifted me onto the
steps of the coach. The two boys came and sat behind us from where Vic
proceeded to talk to me all through the journey. By the time we reached
Blackpool I had a crick in my neck from turning round in my seat to
talk but he was so easy to talk to.
I remember getting off and stepping out into the sunshine right on the
seafront and standing stock still in amazement.
" Exciting isn't it?" Said Vic as he caught my arm.
" Would you like me to show you around, I lived here for a bit before
my family moved to Manchester."
By then he could have asked me to swim the channel and I would have
agreed.
Four hours later we wound up at the main pier, my head spinning with
excitement and my arm through Vic's. I'd been to the top of the tower,
brought down to earth by a very frisky donkey and eaten ice cream,
candyfloss and toffee apples until they came out of my ears. Now here
we were with sore feet looking at an advertisement for a tea dance
which was about to start in the ballroom.
"What d'you think Nance, shall we give it a try?" he said, pleading me
with those big, brown eyes.
"I can't dance&;#8230;I've never danced," I replied.
" My mam used to teach me to waltz in the front room on a Sunday after
tea&;#8230;she said it would come in useful one day, so come on,
what have you got to lose?"
So far that day I had done so many things I never thought I would ever,
or could ever do, I just took a deep breath and tugged impulsively on
Vic's arm.
"Come on then, in for a penny in for a pound," I said, surprised at how
brazen I'd become.

There was a string quartet playing and Vic took my hand and led me out
onto the floor. He put his arm around me and all of a sudden I was
dancing. If someone had told me that I'd be doing this by teatime I
would have laughed in their face. My shyness had just melted away. I
never once felt awkward, he just moved me gently around the floor, his
hand guiding me through each step. I wanted it to last forever but Vic
waltzed me outside where the sea breeze tugged at us. He put his arm
around me and said.
"I think you ought to see the lights in all their glory before we have
to go Nance, then your day will be complete."
He was right, just as he had been all day. The prom was now lit up and
all I could do was stare. I was like a little girl who had just looked
into a kaleidoscope for the very first time.
"Like it Nance?" he said.
"I've had such a wonderful time Vic, I never dreamt
that&;#8230;."
"Shh," he said putting a finger on my lips. Then he took me into his
arms and kissed me, very softly and almost politely.
"It need never end Nance," he said
"I don't want it to end Vic," I whispered and it was as if something
had snapped inside me. Something that had been stretched as far as it
would go.
"Then we won't let it," he said, " when I get back
we'll&;#8230;"
" What do you mean, when you get back?"
"Ron and I are going to France Nance, this is our last night."
"France?" I spluttered naively
"Nance! There's a war on&;#8230;we're going to do our bit." I just
stared at him, I must have looked like a frightened rabbit. "Don't
worry, me and Ron and Lord Kitchener will sort it out, it'll all be
over in a fortnight and then we'll get started on those dance
lessons&;#8230;and the rest of our lives."
That's where it ended, of course. He never came back. I could never
really bring myself to love anyone else even though I've had the
chance. I was determined to stay in love with him. That's the reason I
always tell people I've been married in my heart for all these year.
This is my first outing to Blackpool since that day.
I didn't know what to say when the offer came from the Pensioners Club.
I really didn't think I could do it. But then I kept hearing this
little voice in the back of my mind saying&;#8230;
" Go on Nance," it said, " what have you got to lose? It's only
Blackpool."

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