Back at You

Back At You by J.B. Pravda

Professor Messberger nervously paced the small irregular space of the
Gothic antechamber of the university's auditorium; he had reason to do
so, as he had riled half of Christendom, as well as art historians,
worldwide with his radical analysis, from an anatomist's point of view,
that Michelangelo, himself a master of the human form in the most
exquisite detail, had actually depicted the human brain enveloping G-d,
captured by the artist bestowing intellect and all the other
accoutrements of that organ upon mankind.

Adding to the furor was the single undisputed fact about the panel
known as 'Creation of Man'--------the artist never gave it that
name.

The debate which he had reluctantly agreed to was being put on by The
Rhetorical Society of London; knowing he could not refuse their
invitation and remain respectable, he had labored to produce graphics
he claimed were state of the art and, most vital, his proprietary
computer software program, somehow named 'FART-'----Fact
&;ART?.

His opponent, a devout monkish cleric from Rome, obscure by reputation,
was unknown to all save the Event Committee which had chosen him.

After what he thought had been enthusiastic approval by the audience
for his hi-tech slide show, complete with detailed research into the
writings of the artist and Gray's anatomy, the monkish fellow attired
in a simple linen frock-like garment and sandals pushed his rather long
hair behind his head with both hands, securing it with a rubber band of
some kind.

Breaking the strangely noiseless hall with his opening statement,
uttered soothingly and confidently, he began to speak: " Brothers and
sisters all, thank you for coming out to hear these few words I wish to
share with you; I am here, again, on behalf of the
Creator&;#8230;.." at this he was met with polite but audible
laughter and smiles throughout the audience; even the hosts were not
immune.

Unfased, it seemed, he resumed:"&;#8230;&;#8230;.and wish simply
to point out that, as hard as it may seem to believe------especially in
view of your preliminary reaction a moment ago-----both the Professor
and the Church are mistaken." And now a near revolt against civility
was in evidence; ushers were sent out to quell the uproar. Order having
been somewhat restored, the enrobed spokesperson smiled kindly and
endeavored to conclude: "I'm used to this sort of thing, so please
don't blame yourselves, you aren't truly aware of why you're doing it,
in any event; no, the Truth is simple, yet profound: you see, what is
depicted in this lovely representation is that the Adam figure, already
quite alive and aware---note the eyes are open without any so-called
vivifying 'touch', if you will, Adam there is pointing at the Universe
made flesh, and vice versa! You see, do you not, that 'each' is
indicating their actual unity------how would you say it in modern
vernacular, 'You're the man', that sort of thing. Now, I have some fine
metaphysical literature at the back of the hall available explaining it
all, by some really keen and well-thought of authors, none of whom is
myself, not much for the written word, you see. Tonight only, they are
at reduced prices. To sum up, the main idea is that each is within the
other in an indivisibly non-local quantum sense." Looking about the
thinning audience, he smiled warmly, left the stage and was gone.

In press reports the following day, the press made much of the
overwhelming support of the Professor's humanistic position, noting
that the Church had erred greatly in inviting so unconventional a
spokesperson, commenting that he, aside from disregarding a rather
well-known dress code, had "crossed" the audience from the outset with
his hippie-like cavalier style. One attendee was quoted as having
observed him arriving with a rather motley group of friends and
hangers-on.

In keeping with these reports, the stock in the Professor's software
company shot up nicely; the Society was especially pleased at this, it
having made a tidy investment in the shares. The Church declined all
comment, only noting that its portfolio, also invested in the software,
was designed to be largely insulated from such unorthodox
occurrences.