Cosmo Karma, CPA

Cosmo Karma, C.P.A. by J.B. Pravda

Young Yeshiva boy, Mordecai Plaatz, a distant relation to one Woody
Allen, while on his way to his Talmudic studies had been suddenly
overtaken by a gang of neighborhood toughs; with filial wit his only
ally in a classically perilous situation, Mordecai made the threatening
hoodlums aware that he was on a first name basis with the Golem.

Unsure of the significance of this information, but deducing in their
guts that it must be some gang they had not yet heard of, the thugs
disbanded, promising revenge another day upon Mordecai and his
'stinking' protectors.

Unbeknownst to him, whilst boasting of his exploits of that morning to
his family at the evening meal, a weighty yet ephemeral force had been
set in motion in the Universe, as it had been countless times before.
While no shield for the predatory, this timeless force preferred the
straightforward honest wit of David over sophistic deceit when faced
with the proverbial Goliath.

So, it came to pass that, later that week young Mordecai, careless
invoker of fictitious attributes for a mythical Jewish avenger suffered
a particularly painful paper cut while fending off the crisply printed
tracts of an insistent group of proseletyzing young Quakers; having
seemed to have learned his lesson deep within his soul, Mordecai chose,
tearfully, to both exaggerate his pain in an otherwise impressive
display of knowledge of pathology, having to do with the niceties of
rare yet dire consequences of possible flesh-eating bacteriological
infections contracted via seemingly innocent cuts from crisp paper
products and forswear the consumption, thereafter, of Quaker oats, even
if deemed Kosher.

He had been, it seemed, annoying and pedantic, yet technically in
compliance with the limits of a newly learned corollary to the
Commandments: 'Thou shalt be wise while, at the same time, not being a
wise-,&;/or pain in the, ass.'[See: The Chutzpah Corollaries, 800
B.C., Granite House, Very 1st Ed.]