Just put him in a jumpsuit or jump shot

Just Put Him in a Jumpsuit or Jumpshot by J.B. Pravda

Colonel Tom Parker, Jr. happened to have been in the crowd that
memorable day when 'Jeremiah Johnson', a/k/a Big Foot had, quite
literally, taken top honors in the Hollerin Festival. A connoseiur of
loftier entertainments, he toyed with many venues in which to display
the new-found talents of the sensitive and misunderstood giant. After a
risky trek into the forest, and having won the confidence of the always
(in more ways than one, it appeared) accomodating Farley Granger, he
had persuaded, in the interest of his species, the huge fellow to
appear on several talk shows which, it was hoped, would lead to a
possible career in the music business, what with his incredible vocal
abilities or, in light of the waning fortunes of yodeling due to the
NexTrends disaster, as Center for the Lakers, Parker cleverly reasoning
that the nature-like team name would be the clincher.