Only The Understudy

Only The Understudy

Elen is standing in a dressing room wearing the costume of Celia
Johnson in 'Brief Encounter'. Behind her is a rail with a Mac on, and a
mirror. There is also a tannoy through which we will hear various
announcements. Elen is rehearsing a speech.

Elen: I stared out of that railway carriage window into the dark and
watched the dim trees and the telegraph posts slipping by. And through
them, I saw Alec and me, perhaps a little younger than we are now but
just as much in love and with nothing in the way. I saw us in Paris, at
the opera. Then we were in Venice, drifting along the Grand Canal with
the sound of mandolins coming to us over the water. I saw us leaning on
the rail of a ship looking at the sea and stars, standing on a tropical
beach in the moonlight with the palm trees sighing above us. Then the
palm trees changed into those willows by the canal just before the
level crossing. And all the silly dreams disappeared. And I got out at
Ketchworth and gave up my ticket and walked home as usual, quite
soberly and without dreams, without any wings at all.

Alan has entered towards the end of this. He is dressed as Trevor
Howard in the film 'Brief Encounter', minus hat and coat. He watches
her.

Alan: Elen?

Elen turns round. She looks anxious.

Elen: She's not here Alan. I thought I should get ready just in case.
There's only fifteen minutes to go before the curtain.

Alan: Well does anybody know where she is?

Elen: No. But I'm sure everything will be fine. Something must have
cropped up.

Alan: Why didn't somebody tell me?

Elen: Because we all know that you've enough on your plate already.
This is a big moment for you Alan. And now it's time for you to focus
on your performance.

Alan: Right. But there is still time for her to turn up.

Elen: She's probably got caught up somewhere. Someone wishing her luck
and not letting her get away. I'm sure that in a couple of minutes time
I'll have to take all of this off and sit at the prompt desk
again.

Alan: Let's hope so. Sorry Elen. It would be lovely for you to have a
go, but not tonight.

Elen: Of course. I understand.

Alan: Do you think this will sway the doubters?

Elen: I think it's a beautiful production.

Alan: And is Peter out there?

Elen: In the front row.

Alan: I told the ushers to put him near the back.

Elen: They play Bridge together.

Alan: He'll be sat there with his cronies, won't he?

Elen: Probably.

Alan: Willing us all to fail. Giggling at the first sign of a wavering
note.

Elen: There won't be any wavering Alan. At least not from me. I
promise. If I'm needed of course. Which I won't be. I hope.

Alan looks at his watch and bites his lip.

The voice from the tannoy:
Has anybody seen the Banbury buns? Michelle went to set them and
they've vanished.

Elen hits the tannoy button.

Elen: Colin. I'm afraid that the caretaker ate them last night. But
she's been out and replaced them. They should be stage left; next to
the old copy of 'The Times'.

Alan: I've never trusted that woman. Always scowling at me.

Elen: She was a huge admirer of Peter. She thought your attack in the
Parish newsletter was unforgivable.

Alan: The set collapsed.

Elen: It toppled over.

Alan: If I hadn't made my move then this troupe would have dragged on
and on under his festering leadership. Peter knows the rules. The world
of amateur theatre is a bear pit. Well at least she's replaced the
buns. She must have had a hell of a job. It took me weeks to find
those.

The voice from the tannoy:
Do you mean these Danish pastries Elen?

Elen hits the tannoy:
Yes!

Alan: What!

Elen: It's alright.

Alan: I can't sit there sipping tea shoving Danish pastries into my
face. 'Brief Encounter' is an evocation of wartime sexual longing and
codes of conduct. Alec has just put his arm under Laura's for the first
time. And at that point my script, as in the film, specifically
mentions Banbury buns. Danish pastries do not symbolise sexual
repression. Banbury buns do! The song lyric specifically refers to a
Banbury bun.

Elen: 'I've met someone'.

Alan: Exactly.

Elen: It'll be fine. We'll be alright.

Alan: We?

Alan starts pacing up and down.

Alan: We both decided that this was what we wanted Elen. It was Mary
that first spotted this village. She was the one that thought it would
be romantic. She was the one that engineered our move here.

He suddenly notices that his hat isn't on the rail next to the
Mac.

Alan: Where's my hat? My hat should be there, by my Mac. It has always
been there. Where is it?

Elen: Hasn't Colin told you?

Alan: No. He hasn't.

Elen: Phil borrowed it last night, for a wine tasting at Peter's.

Alan: Oh God. Peter's got it, hasn't he? He recognised it from the
poster and he's holding it hostage. He's probably wearing it tonight.
Knowing that when I look out through the lights and see it perched upon
his mottled head that I will have some form of nervous attack.

Elen: Peter has not got it. Phil left with it on but he couldn't find
it in the house this morning. He's spent hours retracing his steps.
Somebody must have picked it up but we don't know who.

Alan: I made it absolutely clear that nobody was to touch that hat at
any time.
I didn't threaten violence because I thought the tone of my voice was
explicit. What the hell am I going to do?

Elen produces a hat.

Elen: You could wear this one.

Alan: It's not right.

Elen: I've been out all afternoon looking for one Alan and it's the
best I can do. It's nearly the same.

Alan: But it's not the same. Look.

Elen: Nobody will notice.

Alan: The poster has a bloody great picture of me in my Trevor Howard
hat smiling next to my beautiful wife. Neither of whom are going to be
in the show. I've written a whole song based around that hat.

Elen: 'Well look at that'.

Alan: It's my favourite scene.

Elen goes over to Alan and places it on his head. It's not quite big
enough and looks a little ridiculous.

Elen: It suits you.

Alan: No it doesn't. Jesus Christ Elen what is happening here. Ten
minutes before what should be the greatest moment of my artistic life
and Peter the Great is sitting in the front row waiting to pounce on
the slightest cock up, we've a caretaker going round eating the props,
and Mary has decided to exhibit some pathetic show of strength.

Elen: Alan. Come on. Remember the advice you gave us all last night.
Look yourself in the eye and say 'whatever the challenge, I am ready.
We are amateur but not amateurish'. One of your buttons is
undone.

Alan turns to the mirror to do up the button and starts playing around
with the hat, trying to make it fit.

Alan: Were you invited to this do at Peters?

Elen: Yes. Everybody was. They all went after the dress.

Alan: Except for me.

Elen: I didn't go.

Alan: I suppose that Peter was plying everybody. Hoping that they'll
all take the stage with stinking hangovers.

Elen: I don't think you should be bothered about Peter.

Alan: I've heard a lot of whispers during rehearsals.

Elen: Peter was very highly thought of.

Alan: He was surrounding himself with incompetence so that he could
shine.

Elen: That's a little unfair.

Alan: It is not unfair; it is accurate. He was the lead in every show
you ever did. And he was awful. It wasn't about craft for him Elen. It
was about sex. That man is a pastiche Parish Lothario. God knows how
the women round here fell for it so easily. Waddling around the village
with his little harem.

Elen: You must have felt the power in your position since you took
over.

Alan: It's about art. Not sitting there with a folder over your lap,
dangling a knackered old libido like some out of date carrot.

Elen: You don't know what it means to find yourself up there in front
of all of these people that you share the village with. One day you're
just Susie or Joan from down the road and the next you're the woman who
played Gigi in the mid nineties. You can live on that for a decade or
more in a place this size.

Alan: I'm not like that Elen. This is not about some grubby sexual
fantasy played out on the floorboards of some creaking village stage. I
will never use my power to influence my standing in the arena of sexual
attraction.

Elen: But you have cast yourself as Alec Harvey. The intelligent and
idealistic outsider who lights up the life of a suburban
housewife.

Alan: What are you saying?

Pause

Elen: We were going to be doing West Side Story before you took
over.

Alan: Elen, the average age of this troupe is sixty three. We are the
junior wing. West Side Story would have been a disaster. I'm not sure
the stage could have taken it.

Elen: So instead we're doing a musical about repressed sexual longing
with yourself as the lead character.

Alan: Because I've written it. I understand what it needs. This is not
about me; it is about the future direction of the Fiddleton Players.
Tackling sensitive and mature material with poise.

Elen: Do you want me to help you gel your hair?

Alan: Thank you.

Elen takes some hair gel and begins to rub it into his hair.

Alan: This is the moment Elen. Tonight when those curtains open and the
steam billows forth everybody will realise that we have entered a new
world. We are amateur but we are not amateurish.

Rachmaninov's Piano Concerto Number Two suddenly, and very loudly,
booms through the auditorium. Alan and Elen look up and around.

Alan: Bloody hell. What's going on?

Alan hits the tannoy button.

Elen: Colin! Hello! Colin!

The music abruptly ends.
The voice from the tannoy:
Sorry. Hilda's cat has just got in and climbed onto the sound board. It
won't happen again.

Another very loud blast of Rachmaninov. We hear Colin shouting over the
top of it 'Get off!'.

Alan: Where is she!!

Elen now starts to rehearse a scene from the film/play. Alan is unsure
what is happening at first. Once they begin they become drawn to each
other.

Elen: Do you come here every Thursday?

Alan: What?

Elen: Do you come her every Thursday?

Alan: Oh yes. Yes, to spend a day at the hospital. Do you?

Elen: Do I what?

Alan: Come here every Thursday?

Elen: Oh yes. I do the week's shopping, ... change my library book,
have lunch, and generally go to the pictures. Not a very exciting
routine but it makes a change.

Alan: Are you going to the pictures this afternoon?

Elen: Yes.

Alan: Hmmm, how extraordinary! So am I.

They start to sing a duet.

Elen: 'Love in the Mist' at The Palladium.

Alan: Part of our loves rich compendium.

Elen takes Alan's hand in hers.

Elen: I won't let you down.

Alan: I trust you Elen.

Elen: Thank you. That was just what I wanted to hear. You are a very
sensitive man. And it's a beautiful song.

Alan: I wrote it in Taormina you know. Sitting in front of this amazing
Greek theatre, the Mediterranean glittering in the sun to the left;
Mount Etna to the right.

Elen: Was Mary there?

Alan: Yes. She had climbed up onto the ruins and was singing her heart
out.
We got chased off in the end. Do you think she could have had an
accident?

Elen: No. I don't think so Alan. Come on, let me help you with your
Mac. You're nearly ready.

Elen gets a Mac off of a hanger and begins to help Alan get into
it.

Alan: You talk with her don't you?

Elen: About what?

Alan: About things.

Elen: Hasn't she said anything to you?

Alan: It's been difficult. We've both been busy with our work.

Elen: You must have had some time together.

Alan: Not really. We've probably had more conversations together as
Laura and Alec than as ourselves. And for months before that I was
struggling with the lyrics.

Elen: Anything that is truly good Alan is always difficult...

Alan: I think I may have been neglecting her.

Elen: And takes time.

The voice from the tannoy:
Does anybody know where the first aid box is? There's been an accident
with one of the rowing boats. Margaret has taken quite a nasty gash to
the head.

Alan: Bloody hell. I told them to be careful. I showed them, I actually
showed them how to transport the boats from one side of the stage to
the other. I tell you Elen I am beginning to ask myself if this is all
worth it. Maybe a village like this will never be able to produce a
polished show.

Elen: Calm down. It's what happens between us that counts when we get
out there Alan. It's our chemistry. Nothing else is important. Dolly
and Fred can gurn and stutter as much as they like, but if we both
focus then we can burn a hole in each and every one of the audience's
hearts.

Alan: Do you think so?

Elen: Yes. 'I want to die. If only I could die'.

Alan: Maybe this has all been a mistake.

Elen: 'Please go away. Please don't .... Please go away'.

Alan: 'I've watched every train. I can't leave you like this'. I know
I've been putting in too much time but she has to understand that it
takes a lot of work to turn a juggernaut like this around.

Elen: Alan. 'Why didn't you say we were cheap and low, not
cowards...'

Alan: 'Stop it, Laura. Pull yourself together'. Can you hear
coughing?

Elen: No.

Alan: It was because of her you know. All of this. Struggling to find
rhymes for station and Ketchworth....

Elen: 'They must call this rebirth'.

Alan: Yes. It was that hat, on our honeymoon. There was an old French
chap sitting on a wall wearing it and Mary asked if she could take a
photograph of me in it and as soon as I put it on she said that I
looked like Trevor Howard in Brief Encounter. She offered him twenty
pounds. It was for her, this musical. A gift you see. Please Mary,
please don't let me down. I'll make it up. I'm sure that I can hear
coughing.

The voice from the tannoy:
Does anybody know anything about smoke machines? I've just been testing
it and
the button seems to have got jammed.

Elen jabs the return button.

Elen: Well just turn the bloody thing off at the mains.

Alan: God almighty. Maybe this is how it all began with Peter. Maybe
twenty years ago he was a man of principle and integrity who was slowly
sucked into the quicksand of incompetence. That's why Mary isn't here.
She has seen the future and it has turned her to stone. She is sat
there in the dining room, her car keys in her hand, a petrified
object.

An alarm starts going off.

Alan: Bloody hell!

A voice comes booming out.
Please will you all stay in your seats. There is not a fire. Repeat
there is not a fire. We do have the situation under control. We would
however suggest that the older members of the audience place a
handkerchief over their mouths until the smoke has cleared the
auditorium. Thank you for your co-operation. The show will start
shortly. And may I take this opportunity to remind you that there will
be a raffle in the interval. And if Dr Williams is in the house could
he just pop backstage for a second.

Alan looks at his watch.

Elen: If she turned up now would you tell her that it's too late.

Alan: We could delay curtain up by a few minutes.

Elen: But would she deserve it?

Alan: What are you saying?

Elen: Would she deserve being out there, looking up to you with a piece
of grit in her eye?

Alan: She's my wife Elen.

Elen: Of course. And I'm only the understudy.

Alan: Elen.....

A phone rings. It is coming from Elens bag. She answers it.

Elen: Yes, he is. It's for you.

Alan: Mary.

The voice from the tannoy:
Will you take your places please. Curtain up in one minute. Good luck
everybody. Break a leg. And if Margaret goes blank at any time remember
she's still a bit concussed. And please don't anybody mention the
Scottish play.

A loud piece of feedback. We hear Colin shouting 'shit!'

Rachmaninovs Piano Concerto Number Two begins. Elen looks in anguish at
Alan, who is listening in anguish to the phone call.

Elen: Alan. We have to take our places.

Alan waves to Elen to wait.

Elen: Come on.

Alan puts the phone away.

From off stage we hear the sound of a steam train pulling into a
station.

Alan: She's at Kings Cross waiting for a train to take her to Paris.
She's got two tickets. If I leave now I can still make it in time. She
found my Trevor Howard hat on the road last night. She wants us to go
back to the village where we bought it.

We hear the sound of a station guards whistle.

Blackout.