The Witch With The Iron Head

The Witch With The Iron Head

An Original Fairy Tale
by
Anjali Paul
Copyright by Anjali Paul 2001

Once upon a time there were three sisters who lived in an iron hut. The
youngest sister had an iron leg, so she was called Ironleg. The middle
sister had an iron arm, so she was called Ironarm. The eldest sister
had an iron head that she took off at night when she went to bed and
screwed on tightly again every morning. You've guessed it. She was
called Ironhead.

They were witches, of course, but they were very poor because their
spells didn't work.

So all they had to eat were the vegetables that Ironhead planted in
their garden every year, and she bought the seeds with the tiny amount
of money she made by selling the ointments and medicines she made out
of the herbs she grew there too. The ointments and medicines worked,
but she didn't charge much for them, and if someone was really sick she
just gave them the right medicine for nothing. So people didn't take
her seriously unless they were desperate, and when they got better they
thought that they hadn't really been sick at all.

Ironhead didn't really mind all that though, because she was a hard
headed woman with a soft heart and she was happy as long as she had a
roof over her head and food to eat and two sisters who loved her. Well,
that's what she thought.

One night when no moon and no stars could be seen in the sky, a
travelling man with jet black hair riding on a horse that was even
blacker than the night galloped up to the iron hut, jumped down in
front of it, and banged loudly on the iron door.

"Please let me in," he said. "I've come a long way and I've got even
further to go, and I could use a good night's sleep by a warm fire in
between tonight and tomorrow morning."
"No," said Ironleg. "It's not safe. He could steal our money."
"He could not," Ironhead pointed out. "We haven't got any."

"I'm harmless," the travelling man shouted through the keyhole.
"He's poking fun at me," snarled Ironarm. "Men, they're all the
same."
"He said harmless, not armless," said Ironhead, because she liked the
sound of his voice "I don't think he was poking fun at you, and maybe
he's different. Let's invite him in. There are three of us and one of
him so we can overpower him if he gets nasty, and it would be nice to
have some company for a change."

They other two grudgingly agreed and they let the stranger in. Ironhead
told him to sit down on one of the iron chairs around the iron table,
and ladled some soup out of the iron cauldron into an iron bowl, and
gave him an iron spoon, and told him to eat.

When he had finished, he said
"Thank you, your goodlinesses. I'm by way of being a travelling man
myself, and in return for your hospitality I have a business
proposition to put to you."

"We have no money to go into business with," Ironleg grumbled.
"That's okay," the travelling man said. "I have three spells that I
could give you, in return for 10 percent of all the money that you make
from selling them. However, each of you can use your own spell on
yourself for free."

"They work, do they?" Ironarm sneered. It was a sore point with her
that all her spells fell short of her expectations.

"Surely," the travelling man said. "The first is a spell to gain
unlimited wealth. You can sell it for 50 gold pieces a time. The second
is a spell that will make the man or woman of your choice love you
truly forever, and if you have no one in particular in mind then it
will conjure up your ideal true love for you. You can sell that one for
50 gold pieces a time too. The third one will make you immortal, and
that one..." he smiled at Ironhead, "goes for 100 gold pieces a
time."

Ironhead wanted to smile back at him, but her iron head couldn't do
that, so she just looked at him instead.
"I like the smile in your eyes," the travelling man told her.

"What's life without money," Ironleg said. "I'll have the money
spell."
"Done," said the travelling man, and he whispered it into her
ear.

"What's life without true love," Ironarm said dreamily. "I'll take the
love spell."
"Done," said the travelling man, and he whispered it into her
ear.

"It's always good to have a lot of life in you," Ironhead said.
"And make the best of what you've got," the travelling man agreed, and
then he whispered the immortality spell into her ear.

"Now the spells are yours to use," the travelling man said, " and I'll
be back in six months time to collect my percentages from each of
you."

Then Ironhead gave the travelling man a blanket made out of iron mesh
to keep him warm in the chair by the fire, and gave his horse some
water and some apples from the garden, and they all went to sleep. The
next morning the travelling man fed and watered his horse, said
goodbye, and went on his way.

After he had gone, Ironleg did the money spell and the next second a
huge bag of gold coins dropped out of thin air onto the iron
table.

"It worked!" She danced around the hut in her hobnailed boots and
yelled "I'm rich! I'm rich! I'm going shopping!"

So she went to the village with as much gold as she could carry and
bought lots of food and lots of clothes and lots of iron ornaments for
herself, and everywhere she went the villagers asked her
"How come you've suddenly got all this gold?"

"It's a spell that gives you unlimited wealth," said Ironleg. "I'll
sell it to anyone for 50 gold pieces."
"If we had 50 gold pieces we wouldn't need the spell," some of the
villagers complained. Ironleg shrugged.
"Beg it, borrow it, or steal it then. I don't do credit. I'm not
stupid."

The villagers saw how rich she was and so two of them who already had
fifty gold pieces and weren't averse to having more came to the hut and
bought her spell. It worked for both of them and after that the other
villagers begged and borrowed and stole enough money to buy her spell
and she made another fortune. It's always good to have more than you
need, she thought, as she counted her gold day and night.

Meanwhile Ironarm decided to try out her spell. So one day when she was
digging in the garden she cast her spell for herself. Her spade struck
a clod of earth, and out of it jumped a little man with brown hair who
grew bigger and bigger until he was taller than she was.

"Now I may be a bit of a clod," he said "but I know a fine looking
woman when I see one, and I would be the happiest man alive if you
would be my wife so that I could love you truly forever."

Ironarm was so happy that she danced around the garden in her hobnailed
boots yelling "It worked! He loves me!"

He danced around the garden too, because he liked to do what she liked
to do, and when they stopped she grabbed his hand and raced down to the
village with him so that they could get married in the church straight
away.

When the villagers saw Ironarm with her fine looking brown-haired
husband they said
"So how come you landed such a handsome husband?"
And she said
"It's a spell which makes whoever you choose love you truly forever, or
if you have no-one in mind, it will conjure up a true love for you.
I'll sell it to anyone for 50 gold pieces."

Now the villagers all had plenty of gold by now, so it wasn't too long
before they were all queuing up to buy her spell, and she made a
fortune, and then she added to it by buying the money spell from
Ironleg.

When Ironleg saw how happy Ironarm was, she bought the love spell from
her. And it was while Ironleg was counting her gold, testing each piece
on her iron leg to see if it rang true, that a gold piece slipped
through her fingers, bounced on the floor, and turned into a shining
handsome man with golden hair who said
"To coin a phrase, madam, you are a fine looking woman who I would be
honoured to escort down the aisle." So she jumped up, the hairs of her
beard quivering with joy, and raced down to the village with him so
they could married in the church straight away.

Now Ironarm and Ironleg were rich and happy with their true loves but
Ironhead was still poor and lonely, so one morning she screwed on her
head firmly and said to her sisters
"I'm going to cast my spell on myself now," and that's exactly what she
did.
Her sisters looked at each other and said
"Well, we're so rich and happy we want it to last forever, so we'll buy
your spell from you," and they each gave her a hundred gold pieces, so
she cast the spell for them too.

Then Ironleg wanted half her money back, so she said
"Now that you have some money, do you want to buy my money
spell?"
Ironhead shook her head slowly.
"I've got enough for now," she said.

Then Ironarm said
"Do you want to buy my true love spell?"
Ironhead scratched her head thoughtfully. Now she could see that it
might be nice to have a true love who had to love you whether he wanted
to or not, but she wanted a man that just loved her because he did. So
she said
"No."
"Please yourself," the others sniffed, offended.

Ironhead went to the village, but there was nothing at all different
about her that the villagers could see, so one of them asked
"Haven't you got any spell to sell, then?"
"Yes I do," she said. "I've got a spell that makes you immortal, and I
cast it on myself this morning. I'll sell it to anyone for a hundred
gold pieces."

The villagers were all rich and happily in love with their true loves,
so they thought that immortality sounded good, but they couldn't see
that Ironhead looked any different, because she didn't.

"A hundred gold pieces is a lot of money," one of them said. "If you
really are immortal, prove it."
"How?" She asked.
"I know," another villager said. "Let's kill her, and if she doesn't
die that will prove she's immortal."

Now it's no joke when a crowd of villagers are coming at you with
murder in their eyes, and Ironhead was so scared at the sight that she
turned and ran. When the villagers saw that she was afraid they didn't
believe that she was immortal and jeered after her
"You didn't screw your head on properly this morning, did you!"
And this really upset her, because she had.

Well of course no one came to buy her spell, and when her sisters
realized that she was still poor and lonely while they were rich and
happy they felt even happier because they thought it served her right
for getting the spell that cost the most (even though they hadn't
chosen it for themselves).

Ironhead was too proud to ask Ironleg if she could buy her money spell,
though now it would have come in handy, and Ironleg would not offer to
sell it to her sister unless she went down on her knees and begged, and
if Ironhead was too proud to ask, she was much too proud to beg, so she
stayed poor.
After that Ironleg and Ironarm started treating Ironhead like a slave
around the hut. They used to beat her at night after she had taken her
head off, and because she never knew how she had got the bruises they
told her she had fallen out of bed because she was so clumsy, but after
a while they got bored with that and decided to buy big houses of their
own.

So they left, telling her that she could keep the hut to live in, and
this made them feel very generous.

After her sisters had gone, Ironhead sat on the chair by the fire and
cried, because she knew now that her sisters had never loved her at
all. When she was all cried out she thought
"It's nearly six months since the travelling man called on us, so I'll
stay here until he comes back for his money, then I'll take the rest,
and some ointments and medicines to sell, and go and see the world for
myself."

A week later the travelling man rode up to the hut in the middle of the
afternoon, his dark brown eyes glowing and jet-black hair shining in
the sun. Ironhead was outside, picking herbs to make ointments
with.

The travelling man leapt off his horse and said
"There's no better sight than a fine looking woman picking herbs in the
middle of the afternoon."

"Come for your money, have you?" Ironhead took 20 gold pieces out of
her apron pocket and handed them to him. "Here it is."
"I see you're an honest woman with her head well screwed on," he said.
"And I see you're alone."

"My sisters and their husbands have got big houses of their own," she
said. "And now that I've finished my business with you, I'll be off
myself."

"Where are you off to?" The travelling man asked.
"I thought I'd see the world," she said "As I have some time to
spare."
"I'm going that way myself," the travelling man said. "If you marry me
we could see it together."
"All right," Ironhead said, jumping up onto his horse behind him. And
they rode off to the village to get married in the church.

When the villagers saw Ironhead with her handsome black-haired
husband-to-be, they said
"Used your sister's spell, did you?"
"No," she yelled back. "This is the real thing!"

And the travelling man looked so happy as he danced her up the aisle
that the villagers started saying
"You know, she always was a fine looking woman...that head of hers
really does have a certain je ne sais quoi... ."

After that some of the villagers started wearing metal balaclavas
because they wanted whatever it was that Ironhead had, then everyone
started doing it, and it became the height of cool to have a metal head
(or look as though you did).

After they were married the travelling man said
"I'll just stop and collect my 10 percent from each of your sisters,"
and so they went to see Ironleg first.

She had built herself a huge iron palace. They rode through the wrought
iron gates and the travelling man jumped off his horse in front of the
huge iron door. A butler answered the travelling man's knock, but when
he asked to see Ironleg the butler said
"I'm sorry but MODOM is NOT IN."

The travelling man just pushed past him and went into the hallway where
Ironleg had been standing all along, and asked for his 10
percent.

"How dare you!" Ironleg said. "I owe you nothing at all. We never had
any written contract. You haven't got a leg to stand on. Go
away!"

"Certainly," the travelling man said, "but I'll take my spell with me."
He made some complicated passes with his hands and as soon as he had
finished, all her gold pieces disappeared - and all the gold that the
villagers had conjured up with the spells that she had sold them
disappeared too.

Ironleg screamed with rage, but the travelling man walked out of the
door and jumped onto his horse and set off to see Ironarm. On the way
they saw a horde of villagers running to see Ironleg, because they
wanted their money back and they wanted it back RIGHT NOW.

When Ironleg saw them coming she grabbed her golden-haired husband (who
had gone all pale and was hardly there at all) and ran and ran right
back to the iron hut.

On the way to Ironarm's house, Ironhead said thoughtfully
"I wish you hadn't done that, because all the money that I had left is
gone too, and it might be a while before I can make some more."
The travelling man smiled and whispered the money spell into her
ear.
"There now," he said. "That's my wedding present to you, but even if
you used it every day for the rest of time, my love for you would still
add up to more than all that gold."

They reached the rose covered iron cottage that Ironarm lived in, and
the travelling man jumped off his horse and knocked on the door.
Ironarm opened the door and said
"All my money's gone, except for a little bit that must have been real,
and I need to keep that for me and mine, so I'm not going to pay you,
so go away."

"Certainly," the travelling man said, "but I'll take my spell with me."
He made some complicated passes with his hands, and as soon as he had
finished, Ironleg's brown-haired husband disappeared, and Ironleg's
golden-haired husband disappeared, and all the true loves that had been
enchanted or conjured up by the villagers with the love spell,
disappeared.

Ironarm screamed with rage, but the travelling man just jumped back
onto his horse. As they rode away from the rose-covered iron cottage
they saw a horde of villagers rushing to see Ironarm, because they
wanted their true loves back and they wanted them back RIGHT NOW.

When Ironarm saw them coming, she ran and ran right back to the iron
hut.

As Ironhead and the travelling man rode out of the village, she
asked
"Am I really immortal?"
The travelling man answered
"Yes, you are, and I am too."
"So that means we can love each other forever," she said happily.
"Yes, it does," he agreed.

After they had ridden a bit further he noticed that she seemed
thoughtful.
"What is it, love?" He asked.
"Prove to me that you're immortal," Ironhead said.
The travelling man pulled a long thin knife out of his left boot.

"Here," he said. "Stab me through the heart with this, and I swear to
you that I won't die. Or if you don't want to do it, I'll do it."

Ironhead took the knife from him and threw it away.
"I'll take your word for it," she said. "All that really matters is
that we're both alive right now."

And so they set off on their travels.

Meanwhile, Ironarm and Ironleg had barricaded themselves in the iron
hut, but that didn't help, because the villagers decided to bake them
to death to teach them a lesson. So they piled wood around the iron
hut, and set fire to it. Ironarm and Ironleg screamed and started to
hop madly up and down as the iron floor got hotter and hotter, they
didn't die because they really were immortal now and the floor didn't
melt because the hut was built like an oven, so the villagers took it
in turns to keep the fire stoked and for all I know they're both still
screaming and hopping up and down in their hob-nailed boots on the
red-hot iron floor of the iron hut today.

Copyright by Anjali Paul c. 2001