Time

The situation is difficult.
But what can be done?
Was it that he just used me
for some strange sense of fun

when he danced with me then?
Or perhaps something more...
To boost his ego,
to pick up from the floor

the pieces that were left
of my broken heart.
Was that his intention
right from the start?

No. It was me
and my vindictiveness there.
So apparent. I took
to twirling my hair

between two fingers
as if to suggest
that here was where
his heart would not rest

but his another's might.
Did I jealousy inspire
when he danced that night
with vivacity and fire?

People applauded.
I bowed with a blush.
We didn't meet each other's eyes
so instinctive our rush

from the dancefloor
to the safety there
of our company who did
nothng but stare.

They applauded as well
as I mustered a grin
and dragged my "safe bet"
a slow dance to begin.

But what a shock,
I dind't think
that with his acting my heart
he would sink.

Two people cast
from the very same mould.
Each with numerous
tales untold.

The charm in the one
I could see in the other,
even more potent
for he was his brother!

Now I am awash
with feelings unknown.
The seeds of doubt
have already been sown.

I don't want
this uncertainty again,
for amouldering looks to be
cast in vain.

If it be true that
we want sovereignity,
then why can't they
render up unto me

their feelings and reasons
for casting me aside
as the many nights
I have silently cried

dry tears with no
hint of emotion therein,
would've been spared.
My conscience would win.

But as it is,
I can't help but think
that through this dilemma
and many a wink

unanalysed and many a thought
unsaid,
who is it really that I
dream of instead?

Someone caring enough
to sincerely say,
"We shall live to see
another day."

"I'll love you with all
of my strength and my might,
through the clear, sunny days
and the dark, sultry nights."

"I'll hold you when sad,
I'll laugh when you smile,
If only to see you
happy for a short while."

This man would I meet
if a "destiny" there was,
but one fatal kiss
destroyed it because

now I am relegated.
Designed for the past.
This man I loved,
aside he me cast.

I dn't know why
but he wasn't for me.
To have her instead
as she held the key.

Now he is gone,
and all I can say
is that our time together
has frittered away...