The Cry of the Crow

The old black cat was curled up sleeping contentedly in the rocking
chair. Further off in the distance a flock of crows could be heard
cawing loudly in the pine trees.

The room was dark except for the trace of daybreak that was filtering
through the small opening at the bottom of the tightly drawn window
shade.

Nestled snugly under the security of a yellow chenille throw Chrissy
began to stir.

"What's with the crows? Daddy, do they fly at night?
Daddy&;#8230;Daddy&;#8230;"

Sitting up in the chair she looked toward the bed for an answer.
Rubbing her eyes she focused on the bed but it was empty. The red plaid
bedspread was smooth and the oversized pillows were propped up against
the headboard. The sun was streaming in the small slit and she could
see the night had vanished and so had her daddy. Only the bottle of
pills and a small glass of water remained on the nightstand. His
bathrobe lay crumpled in the corner.

"Go away sunshine," she squinted. "I'm not ready for today!"

"What happened to the stillness of the night?" she wondered. "Oh God!
The darkness had been even worse."

She remembered it all to suddenly, too painfully as she noticed the
tear stained pillow she had been clutching. Sinking back into the chair
she once again wrapped the blanket securely around her. This old chair
had always felt safe when she had been wrapped up in a blanket on her
daddy's lap.

"Where are you now Daddy?" she questioned.

Unwelcome thoughts filled her mind. Reluctantly she slipped out of the
old chair and onto the bare hardwood floor. Her footsteps echoed as she
walked toward the bathroom blinking desperately to hold back the flood
of tears that threatened. After wiping the escaping tears from her eyes
she climbed into the shower. The cold porcelain sent a shiver from the
soles of her feet all the way up her spine.

Bending over she turned the water indicator to HOT. She closed her eyes
and tilted her head back. Steam surrounded her as she felt the warmth
and relief spread over her body. A way to perhaps escape the uneasy
feelings, if only temporarily.

"What do I wear today? Does it really matter? Yes, it does." She stated
answering her own question.
She chose a simple black dress with a solitary red rose on the
lapel.

"Yes, this is perfect. Daddy loves this dress."

After slipping on her finest black nylons and smoothing the last
wrinkle from her silky dress she glanced at her reflection in the
mirror. On any other day she would have smiled at the woman looking
back. Today she saw only a trace of the person she had become.

The air was crisp, even for an October morning. The last of the
honeybees were gathering in the goldenrod and horseweed and the leaves
were falling like snowflakes on a December day. The crows were still
making a rucus in the treetops. There must have been a hundred of
them!

She slid behind the wheel of her bright red Honda Prelude. Normally
driving it gave her pleasure, but not today. She had too much on her
mind. It was less than a ten-mile drive to town, unless she took the
long way, which she did. She waved half-heartily at the farmers
harvesting the last of the crops, wishing she could be out in the
fields too. Logging trucks filled the highways and the Dairy Bar had an
extremely long line.

It was barely noon when she entered the small room. Soon she would be
caught up in all the sounds and smells and she would barely have a
chance to think. She tried to collect her thoughts and get her emotions
in check.

With so many people all around, how would she find the perfect way to
say "goodbye" to him? She knew she would have find a way to get a few
moments alone with him&;#8230; she just had to! For so long he had
been the only man in her life. She always thought that he was the only
man that would truly understand her and love her anyway.

"Chrissy, what are you doing here so soon?"

The sound of another voice made her jump.

"Oh, Reverend Miller, I was hoping to have some time alone with Daddy
before everyone arrived. Please, is that possible?"

"Honey, your father isn't here yet. There was a slight delay. He won't
be for another half- hour. You can wait in my office if you
like."

"That's very kind of you, but I think I will take a walk in the garden
until he arrives."

"That's a wonderful idea, Chrissy. God has blessed us with just enough
cold nights and warm days to make the trees brilliant this year. The
skies are as bright and clear as any I've ever seen. It must be a
message for you. I'll leave you to your thoughts. If you need me I'll
be inside. I'll let you know when your father is here."

"Thank-you" she said flatly.

As much as she hated admitting it, the day was glorious. It reminded
her of the many times she had walked along side her father. They would
spend the afternoons walking in the meadows, telling tall tales, and
stopping sometimes to search for monsters or angels in the shapes of
the clouds.A smile crossed her face and for a moment her heart felt
light.

From inside the chapel she could hear voices as friends and family
started filling the pews. She could hear the faint music that filtered
through the air.

She should go in soon. Everyone would wonder where she was and perhaps
even begin to worry. But her daddy wasn't there yet. Reverend Miller
told her he would come for her. She decided to take one more deep
breath and then head inside. She would talk with the others; it was the
proper thing to do.

Breathing deeply she recognized a familiar fragrance. "Could that be
honeysuckle that seemed to linger on the autumn breeze? Impossible,
honeysuckle hasn't been in bloom since springtime! I must have imagined
it," she thought as she walked slowly toward the church.
T
he Reverend met her at the door, reached for her arm, and she knew
without a word her father had arrived. He was there waiting for
her.

Once inside she stopped to survey the room. It was brimming with
friends, family, and loved ones. The church bells rang softly and she
was overcome with emotion. Her legs shook and her mouth trembled as she
mouthed the words, "Goodbye Daddy, I love you."

Saying, "Goodbye" that October day was one of the hardest things I have
ever had to do. I learned a lot about life and love from my daddy. He
is the man against whom I would compare all others for many years to
follow.
I will always remember daddy when I hear the cry of the crow.

"Hear the cries of the sweet crow
As she prepares for flight.
Soon she'll take wing
In the stillness of the night."