Damn you, Woolf

For writing a book with only one chapter,
For your coma-inducing narratorial voice,
For not having been struck from the syllabus
long ago,
For ruining my notion of stream-of-
consciousness writing,
For conveniently being the favourite of all my
lecturers,
For To the Lighthouse, by God,

For all of these,

Damn you, Woolf.